3 IDIOTS - The funniest Hindi comedy since Munnabhai

3 IDIOTS is one of the funniest Hindi movies I’ve seen since MUNNABHAI MBBS. So it comes as no surprise to find that it was written and directed by Rajkumar Hirani, the guy behind that smash-hit. 3 IDIOTS also has certain plot similarities to the first MUNNABHAI movie. Once again we find ourselves in an Indian university, with students under pressure from their adoring parents to do well and get a great job. Once again we have an iconoclastic rebel who goes against the faculty head and argues for less learning by rote and more actual education. And once again, there’s a romance between the rebel and the Dean’s daughter. But there the resulting is far more raucous, far more consistently witty, and genuinely laugh-out loud funny.

Aamir Khan plays Rancho, an iconoclastic student who transforms the lives of his two best friends Raja (Sharman Joshi) and Farhan (Madhavan). Together, they are the 3 idiots of the title, who fight financial and social pressure to have pursue their passions. They come up against the tyrannical and uncaring university dean, nicknamed Virus, and played by the typically hilarious, but here more modulated, Boman Irani. Lisp and comical haircut aside, Irani’s Virus is less funny than terrible, because until tragedy strikes his own family, he does not change. The 3 idiots also come up against the university swot, a Ugandan NRI nicknamed Silencer, played with a pitch-perfect East African gujurati accent by Omi Vaidya. Silencer is also a tragic figure, but equally one of the funniest, with a hilarious comic set-piece revolving around a formal speech in front of the education minister which the fluent Hindi 3 idiots have doctored replacing the word “serve” with “screwed”. Silencer is also the best exponent of the movie’s full and up-front exploration of fart jokes! Naturally, this being a Hindi film, there has to be a love interest, and so we have Kareena Kapoor, also superb at the comdy, playing Pia, the dean’s daughter.

The bulk of the movie takes place a decade ago, and sees Rancho befriending the other idiots, confronting the dean and falling in love. The movie’s framing device takes place in the present day, with Raju, Farhan and Silencer trying to track down Rancho after ten years of radio silence.

The perfectionist Aamir Khan, aged 44, undergoes an impressive physical transformation to play Rancho, a university student. He has lost weight, and the combination of baggy clothes, make-up (unfairly – botox?!), posture and physicality make him more convincing in the role than you might imagine. It was even more suprising to see how far this actor, famed for his serious political films, could do pure physical comedy. His acting in the song “Aal eez well” is superb, and genuinely laugh-out-loud funny.

So, 3 IDIOTS is utterly hilarious. But the great thing is that it is also politically provocative. The key argument in the film is that Indian parents are too strict with their kids, picking out their careers for them, and putting too much pressure on them succeed. Worse still, success is measured purely by salary, with which you can buy flashy branded clothes and attract a pretty wife. The price of this pressure is extreme – suicide. Rancho argues that real learning isn’t learning by rote to come first in an exam. And that, rather than trying to come top in an exam, if you “pursue excellence, and success will follow, pants down.” Most of all, if you love engineering, be an engineer. Don’t become a banker in a foreign land. It’s a wonderful ethos and the argument sorely needs to be made. It’s great to see a populist movie taking such a stance.

Of course, with Hindi cinema you have to expect a big dollop of melodrama and implausibility. For instance, the framing device see the “two idiots” go in search of Rancho by driving from Delhi to Shimla via Ladakh – a massive road trip that seemingly happens in a day! And the single most ludicrous set-piece is the scene where Rancho and the students help the dean’s daughter to give birth despite heavy rains, a lack of electricity, and any medical equipment. Just when you think the scene can’t get more schmaltzy and melodramatic, Hirani pushes it one step further, with the movie’s motto, “Aal eez well” playing a key part. It’s ludicrous. But then again, you have to assume that a writer-director who has pastiched Hindi cinema tropes in the song “Zoobi Doobi” knows perfectly well what he’s doing. He’s both pandering to our expectations of what a Bollywood movie should do, and simultaneously sending them up. It takes a very assured director to create a scene that’s both moving and hilarious.

3 IDIOTS was released on Christmas Day 2009.

KISMAT KONNECTION - forgettable Bollywood rom-com

KISMAT KONNECTION (DESTINY CONNECTION) is a rather anonymous Indian rom-com. Shahid Kapoor plays a hard-up architect who thinks Vidya Balan is his good luck charm. Egged on by Juhi Chawla's fortune teller he wheedles his way into Balan's life, despite the fact that he's planning to build a supermarket on the site of her beloved community centre. Comic capers ensue.....or not. Less screwball than formulaic and entirely forgettable.

KISMAT KONNECTION was released in summer 2008 and is available on DVD.

DOSTANA - mainstream Bollywood tackles homophobia

DOSTANA is being touted as a breakthrough Bollywood movie but I think it's absolutely typical in its slippery depiction of modern sexuality. After all, Bollywood cinema delights in showing us waxed and bronzed men and women, scimpily clad, gyrating provocatively. But god forbid you actually show two people kissing!

DOSTANA takes this paradoxical attitude to modern sexuality and applies it to gay relationships. So, on one hand, this is a brave movie. It's telling Indian parents not to be so judgmental that their kids are forced to stay in the closet. Surely, loving parents should want an honest and open relationship with their children? But on the other hand, this is a movie that still wants to make money and can't afford to offend its conservative audience. As a result, the two gay characters are, in fact, only faking it. And faking it in such a crass manner that it makes Robin Williams' performance in BIRDCAGE look restrained. The message seems to be: yes, it's fine to be gay, but just so you know, I'm most definitely NOT GAY! In a Western movie - such as I PRONOUNCE YOU CHUCK AND LARRY - I would excoriate the hypocrisy and cowardice of the film-makers. But given that this is Hindi cinema I can only give thanks that we are finally inching toward maturity.

So, back to the nuts and bolts. DOSTANA is a movie about young single Indians living in Miami and enjoying a measure of freedom that they wouldn't enjoy at home. Kunal (John Abraham) and Sameer (Abhishek Bachchan) pretend to be gay so that they can share an apartment with Neha (Priyanka Chopra) whose conservative aunt won't allow co-habitation with straight single men. Problems arise when Sam's mother thinks he really IS gay and both guys realise that they are in love with Neha and try to ruin her incipient romance with her boss Abhi (Bobby Deol). The situations are resolved thanks to lots of typical Bollywood broad humour, farcical mix-ups, glycerine tears and ludicrously opulent romantic gestures.

Despite the fact that this movie is written and directed by Tarun Manusukhani, the movie has the look, feel and self-referential narcissism of your typical Karan Johar film. It's all lush location shots, designer clothes, over-styled actors and ludicrous over-acting. Having said that, in embracing his camp sensibility, Johar has finally found a narrative that suits his style and the result is highly entertaining. Let's face it, Priyanka is just a clothes-horse, and John Abraham is just there to flash his well-oiled pecs, but Abhishek Bachchan turns out to be very gifted at physical comedy, carrying the movie until the mid-way mark when Kiron Kher and Boman Irani show up. Irani is a scene stealer as flamboyantly gay magazine editor M - like a Hindi Mugatu for all you ZOOLANDER fans! - and Kiron Kher, as Sameer's devestated mother, has by far the best musical number in the movie, beautifully spoofing her performance in DEVDAS. Admittely, the movie starts to flag when we get into a tortously drawn out denouement, but at least it ends on a high with the dance number "Desi girl" and the first mainstream Bollywood gay (or at least man-on-man) kiss.

DOSTANA went on global release on November 14th.

YUVRAAJ - piss-poor Bollywood melodrama slash RAINMAN rip-off

YUVRAAJ is an unwatchable movie from Subash Ghai - one of Hindi cinema's most unreliable directors. He's made iconic movies like TAAL and even the recent, earnest political drama BLACK AND WHITE but he's also made some complete stinkers.

YUVRAAJ (Hindi: "prince") is about a cock-sure arsehole (Salman Khan) who wants to marry a rich cellist (Katrina Kaif). Her father forbids the match until this waste of space makes some money. So our "hero" decides to team up with his playboy younger brother (Zayed Khan) and exploit their third brother (Anil Kapoor) - an autistic, musical genius who just happens to have inherited their father's fortune.

The movie is superficial and glitzy and at times seems like little more than an advert for Austrian tourism. Katrina Kaif, Salman Khan and Zayed Khan are poor actors, the script is cumbersome and ridiculous, and poor Anil Kapoor is stuck in a role that is absurd. He's the only reason to see the movie, and believe me he's not reason enough. As for A.R.Rahman's score - it's a real embarassment. Apart from the songs "Tu meri dost hain" and "Mastam mastam", the numbers are over-worked, bombastic and truly poor quality.

Movies like DOSTANA - for all their compromises - are moving Bollywood forward. Movies like YUVRAAJ set it back by around a decade. Avoid at all costs or waste two and half hours pondering the strange life of Salman Khan's hair-line and Anil Kapoor's collection of haute couture lapel pins.

YUVRAAJ went on global release on November 21st.

Random DVD Round-Up 2 - LAKSHYA / PURPOSE

Farhan Akhtar's first film was the light-hearted but realistic romantic comedy DIL CHAHTA HAI. He returned in 2004 with an altogether different film - LAKSHYA. The film follows a young spoiled man (Hrithik Roshan) who has no motivation or purpose in life, much to the annoyance of his family and his politically aware girlfriend (Preity Zinta.) He joins the army, quits, but is shamed into returning. Inspired by his commanding officer and acquiring a new sense of patriotism he ends up fighting in the notorious Kargill incident.

LAKSHYA deserves praise on many fronts. First, the hero and heroine are fully-rounded characters that show real development as the movie progresses. Preity Zinta has the chance to portray a strong, independent, modern woman - a chance that is all too rare in Bollywood. She gives a good natural performance. But the stand out is Hrithik Roshan as the hero. He makes the transition from love-able fool to man of integrity believable. Added to that, he performs one of the stand-out pieces of dance in modern Hindi cinema - the award-winning routine to the song Main Aisa Kyun Hoon. I was watching a Shah Rukh Khan movie recently just after watching Lakshya and realised just how far ahead of the other Bollywood heroes Hrithik Roshan is. Some actors can dance okay - some actors can act really well (not least Saif Ali Khan) - but few combine the two skills.

LAKSHYA is also a great technical achievement for Hindi cinema. The film-makers seem to have paid a lot of attention to the mechanics of the battle and DP Christopher Popp uses awesome crane shots to depict the mountainous terrain of Kashmir. The Indo-Pakistani border has never looked so magnificent. But what's really great is that the cinematography isn't just there to look pretty but to make a point about the strategic importance of the hill that Hrithik's troops are trying to retake.

Perhaps the only possible criticism of this film is that it is definitely trying to inspire patriotism and some might find that a little manipulative or xenophobic. However, I believe that LAKSHYA stays firmly on the right side of the line between patriotism and jingoism. It's certainly a lot less bombastic than the bloated J P Datta epic, LOC KARGILL.

LAKSHYA was released in 2004 and is available on DVD.

DON (2006) - laughable

If Quentin Tarantino directed an old-school Bollywood action thriller, it would be like the original 1970s version of DON. That DON is a humungously popular flick starring Amitabh Bachchan and Helen. It has a kitsch sound-track, insane sunglasses and crazy-ass fight scenes. Seriously, if DEATH PROOF has you hooked, you should check DON out. Teasers and expos can be found here.

This 2006 remake is a different beast. It's caught between a desire to be all things hi-tech and a guilty love of all things 70s and naff. So we have polished stunts and glossy back-drops - namely Paris and Kuala Lumpur. But we also have disco-tastic outfits and dance sequences. The overall effect is as bizarre as the lead character's penchant for knitted ties and heavily patterned rayon shirts.

What's the plot? Director Farhan Akhtar remains faithful to his father's original script bar one crucial plot twist. As in the original, Don is a high-powered gangster being chased down by a vengeful hot chick and a wily copper. The hot chick infiltrates Don's organisation and soon becomes his trusted number two. Meanwhile, the wily copper has substituted a doppelganger street-kid for the real Don, in order to gain all of the organisation's secrets. Oh yes, and as this is a Bollywood flick, there is a regulation-cute street-urchin to tug at the heart strings.

So follows a lot of nonsense. Shah Rukh Khan is convincing as the street-smart doppelganger, but utterly unconvincing as a hard-as-nails gangster. Priyanka Chopra and Kareeena Kapoor are under-used in the female roles. Arjun Rampal is surprisingly okay in a smaller role but it is, once again, the multi-talented Boman Irani as the wily coppper, who gives the most credible performance. The tech package is decent but the 70s pastiche songs from Shankar Mahadevan are woeful.

In other words, the only real merit to this re-make is the unintended comedy. To wit, comedy gold like:

Don: I should've listened to what mother used to say...
other: What did your mother say?
Don: When I didn't listen to what she said, how can I tell you?

And the idiotic brilliance of a character who always refers to himself in the third person:
Don: Don's enemy's biggest mistake is that he's Don's enemy.
Don: People don't leave Don but the world instead...

DON went on cinematic release in October 2006 and is now available on DVD.

Beyond Bollywood - PAGE 3, CORPORATE & TRAFFIC SIGNAL

Madhur Bhandarkar is one of the best independent Indian directors currently working. He eschews the glitzy escapist froth of standard Bollywood fare and focuses on exposing the brutal reality of life in modern India. His films, PAGE 3 and CORPORATE exposed the corruption, venality and crass materialism of Indian high society and big business respectively. With TRAFFIC SIGNAL, Bhandarkar turns his attention to the life of street vendors who hawk goods and scam passers by.

PAGE 3 was originally released in 2005 to great acclaim thanks to the bravery of the subject matter, the outstanding central performances, the fast narrative pace and the accomplished hand-held camera-work from Madhu Rao. The movie focuses on an idealist young journalist (Bhandarkar regular, Konkona Sen Sharma) who gets assigned to writing the society gossip column of a major Mumbai newspaper by her editor (Boman Irani). She becomes a proxy for the audience as we are dazzled by the immorality of the film moguls. This is especially ironic in an industry that won't typically show kissing on screen. However, the most interesting strand of the film is seeing the impact of the corruption on the journalist herself - whether her own professional ambition will allow her to cross the paths of the powerful people she threatens to expose. It's a terrific film - one of the best Indian movies I've seen in the last ten years. It deservedly won the Filmfare Best Screenplay award for Nina Arora and Manoj Tyagi and Bhandarkar won India's Golden Lotus award.

Bhandarkar followed PAGE 3 with CORPORATE, released in 2006. Once again Bhandarkar teamed up with Manoj Tyagi to work up a fast-paced tightly plotted script exposing government corruption, corporate dirty tricks, chemical pollutants and sexual discrimination. Unlike PAGE 3 and TRAFFIC SIGNAL, the central female protagonist is played by Bispasha Basu, who looks rather unlikely as the ambitious young executive but turns in an okay performance. I also think the more conventional camera-work of Mahesh Limaye saps the film's energy. Still, CORPORATE is well worth checking out, though less accomplished than PAGE 3.

In 2007, Bhandarkar produced his latest film, TRAFFIC SIGNAL. Homeless kids, prostitutes, drug addicts, people who are simply poor....all pay protection money to a smart young man called Silsila, who in turn pays off a sinister mafia boss. At the top level, corruption stretches to "removing" an honest planning officer who refuses to move a fly-over that to suit the business needs of the local gang. TRAFFIC SIGNAL has the ring of truth and Bhandarkar adds authenticity by shooting mostly on location on the streets of Mumbai. Moreover, with the exception of Konkona Sen Sharma, most of the cast will be unfamiliar to audiences.

Is the movie up to the standard of PAGE 3? Arguably not. I don't understand why art films have to have music tracks that are badly lip synched by dancing cast members. More fundamentally, TRAFFIC SIGNAL lacks the underlying current of outrage and the narrative pace of PAGE 3. But then, PAGE 3 had an earnest, crusading journalist at its heart, and her outrage set the tone. By contrast, while TRAFFIC SIGNAL does feature a decent charity worker as one of its many characters, the central figure is the mafiosi middle-man Silsila. So it follows that the movie feels more like a hands-off documentary. Still, I must confess that the movie - structured around vignettes - meanders a little, and an hour in I wandered if anything really would happen. Having said that, for an audience unfamiliar with the harsh reality of street life in India, narrative weaknesses be damned: this is powerful viewing.

BEING CYRUS - truly funny, very bizarre, Bollywood thriller

So, this movie came out of left-field. BEING CYRUS is a fantastic new movie made largely by members of the Hindi film industry. It combines hysterically, typically Indian humour with Western production values and has a style all of its own. There are no dancing girls, "item numbers", or hackeneyed star-crossed lovers storylines. We also do not have that particularly sickening aspirational unreal depiction of ex-pat life that so many Bollywood multiplex films contain. (I am thinking here of HUM TUM, KAL HO NAA HO etc.) Instead we have an odd-ball thriller. Yes, yes, here we have that rare thing: a Hindi movie that has us crying with laughter, but also requires some intelligence to figure out the plot, and is all wrapped up within 90 minutes!

Cyrus Mistry is a young man who, together with his sister, had a miserable childhood as an abused orphan. In adult life he becomes an apprentice to a sometime celebrated, but now pothead recluse sculptor, named Dinshaw Sethna. This crumpled romantic is married to a fading and frustrated beauty called Katy, who dreams of quitting their "bhoot bangla" ramshackle country villa in Panchgani and returning to life in Bombay. Katy sends Cyrus on a mission to Bombay to sweet-talk Dinshaw's rich but ill-treated father, Fardounji Sethna, at which point he also comes into contact with Dinshaw's fat, capitalist brother Farouk and his young bride, Tina, not to mention, through twists and turns of the plot equally absurd and hillarious, Police Inspector Lovely.

The film has an outrageously funny script penned by first time writer-director Homi Adajania. I usually hate voice-overs but Cyrus' narrative is sharp, witty and memorable, and much praise must be given to Saif Ali Khan, up till now a conventional Bollywood heart-throb, for pulling off such a role. In addition, the supporting cast is superb. We have Naseerudin Shah - a class act - playing Dinshaw with such subtlety. With a flick of his eyes in an interrogation room he can reduce us to hysterics. Dimple Kapadia sends herself up as Katy, Honey Chayya is wonderful as Papa Fardounji, and best of all, we have the Peter Sellers of Indian cinema, Boman Irani, as the explosively bad-tempered Farouk.

But this is not just a funny, well-plotted movie. The depiction of Indian life is also spot on - from the people sleeping on park benches or on the road side in practically every frame; the road-side arguments between residents in the apartment building; to the way in which as you sit down in the cafe you immediately get served a cup of warm chai. Small details, but rarely seen in the glammed up dream-world of Bollywood movies. The director also uses the camera with imagination and fluidity to great comedic and dramatic effect - everything from bizarre Lynch -like dream sequences to dog POV shots. Finally, the film is greatly enhanced by Brit, Jon Harris, and has a faint air of the comedy freeze-frame stuff we saw in SNATCH.

What it all boils down to is that you should not dismiss BEING CYRUS because it is a Bollywood movie. The best way to think of it is as an English-language black comedy/thriller that is set in India. TRANSAMERICA may be more worthy, but I'd be hard pushed to recommend anything funnier on UK screens this weekend.

BEING CYRUS opened in India, Dubai and the UK on March 24th 2006.