I WANT CANDY - bizarrely panned Brit comedy

I WANT CANDY was absolutely panned by the British press when it came out in March - so much so that I didn't bother watching it until it came out on DVD. Clearly, it's not a work of comedy genius, but it's not that bad either. In fact, I had more fun watching I WANT CANDY that I did during two hours' "festive fun" with FRED CLAUS. The basic idea is the same as THE MOGULS aka THE AMATEURS (currently playing in the US): a bunch of small-town middle-class nice guys decide to make a porno. In this case, the protagonists are two like-able film students (Tom Riley and Tom Burke - both talented & amiable) and their side-kick (Michelle Ryan aka The Bionic Woman or Zoe Slater depending on which side of the pond you're from.) The kids manage to hire the infamous Candy Fiveways (Carmen Electra) on the strength of their unusually cogent film script. They also get funding from a dodgy distributor played by the brilliant Eddie Marsan. As is the case with all these comedies that wring laughs out of normal people doing faintly transgressive things, there's a lot of scenes in which the kids' shocked parents discover what they are up to. Far more successful are cameos from Miranda Hart as a sarcastic secretary and Jimmy Carr as a video-store worker/porn expert. I also liked Mackenzie Crook as a Brent-ish Film Professor who's desperate to appear "down with the kids". Like I said, this ain't Citizen Kane, but it's harmless, unpretentious and like-able. It's probably not worth seeking out, but if you catch it on FilmFour it's worth a look.

I WANT CANDY went on release in the UK in March 2007 and is now available on DVD.

SCARY MOVIE 4 - less funny than just watching Tom Cruise

SCARY MOVIE 4 is not a satire on horror movies. It is a string of vague pastiches of recent films and events in popular culture that centre on the Tom Cruise vehicle, WAR OF THE WORLDS. It certainly isn't scary and spends little time spoofing the horror genre in the manner of the infinitely superior SHAUN OF THE DEAD. One of the sight gags consists of a cloud shaped like an arse farting lightning. If that makes you laugh, and good for you if it does, then you should check this movie out. To my mind, the chief targets of this movie - George Bush and Tom Cruise - are so easy to mock that the movie's writers have set themselves all too undemanding a target. What's worse, they have opted for low-grade funnies rather than anything more biting. Frankly, you can get a lot more malicious laughter from watching the actual Tom on Oprah footage or the banned episode of South Park, both of which are available on You Tube. A link to the first is underneath the title of this post. Enjoy!

SCARY MOVIE 4 is on global release.

DIRTY LOVE - insultingly bad

DIRTY LOVE may be the worst movie of 2005. It features US Barbie-doll alleged comedienne Jenny McCarthy and Carmen Electra. The plot, such as it is, is that the Jenny McCarthy discovers that her boyfriend is a cheat and has an emotional breakdown. "Jokes" include a skit where Jenny McCarthy is walking through a supermarket aisle looking for sanitary towels and leaving a trail of menstrual blood on the floor. Presumably, it is also meant to be funny that Carmen Electra spends the entire movie imitating an African-American accent and idiom. I found the whole movie insulting as a woman, as a woman of colour, and frankly, as an intelligent cinema-goer. That is was released at all, let alone at a festival like Sundance, is shameful to all involved in the production and the festival programmers. DIRTY LOVE went on to receive a host of Razzies - the anti-Oscars. But I feel that these anti-awards imply that it was so bad as to be funny. It wasn't. It was so bad as to be insulting. Avoid at all costs.

DIRTY LOVE premiered at Sundance 2005 and hit US screens last year. It went to straight to video in the UK and is released on DVD today.