Tuesday, January 17, 2006

GREEN STREET HOOLIGANS - the most rubbish Cockney accent since Mary Poppins

GREEN STREET HOOLIGANS does not suck as much ass as GET RICH OR DIE TRYIN' but it gets pretty close. It is a film made about British football thugs. The only things you need for that are a) people who can speak with a convincing cockney accent b) the ability to direct fight scenes c) the ability to shoot football. First time feature director, Lexi Alexander, has none of the above. This is NOT because she has hired the hobbit in a lead role - he may be unconvincing as a hooligan but that is rather the point. He plays a naive young Harvard boy who gets suckered into thuggery by his brother-in-law. No, her fault was in casting Charlie Hunnam as the lead Londoner. Hunnam has joined the honoured ranks of Dick van Dyke and Damon Albarn as the worst "mockneys" in history. Worse still, as I said before, she can't shoot football matches - we barely keep track with the ball - and she certainly can't shoot fight scenes. Instead of giving us insight into the social drivers of hooliganism all she does is glamourise it with loving MTV editing, and the kind of music cues that try to persuade the audience that it is cool and noble to punch people for kicks. All in all, the result is neither edifying nor entertaining. So, if you want to watch a movie about a "firm", just rent THE FOOTBALL FACTORY instead.

GREEN STREET HOOLIGANS is available on Region 1 and Region 2 DVD. It gets a cinematic release in France on the 7th June 2006.


  1. I was very excited about getting to see this movie. before I read your words about it, that is.
    It's all good, I'll rent Fight Club again.

  2. I LOVE Fight Club. Sorry to have disappointed on Green Street. For what it's worth, most reviewers gave it a bad time too, so I don't think I 'm being controversial...