Wednesday, February 14, 2007

EPIC MOVIE - the 38th worst movie of all time

I considered writing a one word review of EPIC MOVIE. It would read "WANK". That, I felt, would sum up how much effort the writer-directors Jason Friedberg & Aaron Seltzer, and the cast, notably Kal Penn and Jennifer Coolidge (both of whom should know better) had put into the movie.

Heck, it's not even a spoof of EPIC films! Half of the time it's pastiching films like
NACHO LIBRE or CHARLIE AND THE CHOOCOLATE FACTORY which are in no way epic. And we're lucky if it even sticks to movies - the other half of the time it's making lame-ass references to MTV Cribs and the like. At one point, it rips off SNAKES ON A PLANE, which is itself a pastiche. Seriously. EPIC MOVIE isn't even cinema. It has no discernable narrative arc, no character development and barely a phrase of sentient dialogue.

Indeed, the movie is only noteworthy because it is another in a long franchise that manages to score well at the box office despite the intellectual and emotional vacuity of the product. I assume that the people who watch these films are the same cohort that smoke cigarettes - how else can you explain people who willingly hand over hard-earned money to watch something so poisonous and patronising? (I got a free ticket because the cinema had earlier messed up an internet booking. It proved to be the cinematic equivalent of free drugs from your friendly local dope-peddler. They give away the shit for free because no-one would willingly get involved in such a racket.)

EPIC MOVIE is on release in Australia, the US, Ireland, Latvia and the UK. It opens in Singapore and Philippines later this month and in Argentina, Spain, Iceland, Russia, Estonia, Belgium, Finland and Sweden in March. It opens in Germany and the Netherlands and Italy in April. It opens in France in May.

2 comments:

  1. Epic movie was THE WORST movie i have ever seen.

    ReplyDelete
  2. EPIC MOVIE SUX5/4/07 11:37 AM

    EPIC MOVIE SUXMAN SO LOUSY SHOW

    ReplyDelete