SORORITY ROW - cinematic pot noodle

SORORITY ROW is cheap and nasty. Still, once in a while, typically after a few drinks when there's nothing else in the house and you need to carb up, it's just what you need. It is, in short, a guilty pleasure.

So when I tell you that I had a surprisingly good time watching SORORITY ROW, you'll see where I'm coming from. This movie is pure trash - full of gratuitous tit shots; a risible plot; unscary scary scenes.... It's a slasher movie so bad, it has to be deliberate. But, in the spirit of honesty, it's only fare to 'fess up and say that I laughed hard and long watching SORORITY ROW and positively bounced out of the cinema. And no, before you ask, it had nothing to do with the large gin and tonic at The Imperial beforehand.

The plot is simple. At the start of the university year, a practical joke goes badly wrong and a bunch of sorority sisters hush up the death of their friend, dumping her body rather than call in the cops and getting bounced out of school. Fast forward to graduation day and someone is killing anyone who knows the secret. Is Megan back from the dead? Is her little sister seeking vengeance?

Production values are pretty decent. Indeed, there's an impressive tracking shot that takes us through the sorority house during the opening night party. The acting is also fairly decent, given how hard it is to say so-bad-it's-good lines with a straight face. Perhaps most surprising is that Rumer Willis (daughter of Bruce and Demi) is fine - although she pretty much only has to whimper for the whole film. Best of all, we have Carrie Fisher in a cameo as the House Mother in full on psycho-bitch mode. Genius. As you can imagine, it's the willingness of the movie to spoof its own target demographic that makes it a success. Basically, it's an exercise in depicting - nay lavishing in - the Daily Express' vision of hell: promiscuous teenagers, high on booze and drugs, with too much money, too few scruples, and high-speed internet connections.

We've seen the future, and it's wearing a crystal lip-gloss, a mini-dress, and driving daddy's Porsche Cayenne over a troublesome ex-.

SORORITY ROW is on release in the UK, Australia, Canada and the USA. It opens in two weeks time in Brazil. It opens on October 8th in the Czech Republic and Singapore; October 15th in Argentina; October 22nd in the Netherlands and Venezuela; November 5th in Russia; and November 19th in Portugal.

STEP UP 2 THE STREETS isn't going to capture the teen imagination in the same way that its predecessor did

STEP UP 2 follows much the same formula as the original dance-school teen romance. A girl from a rough neighbourhood gets into a performing arts school and clashes with the classical dance curriculum. She leads a posse of renegade misfits into competing in a street dance contest, hooking up with a hunky colleague in the process.

The sequel is weaker than the original in several respects. Channing Tatum was far more convincing as a kid from the streets that clean-cut Briana Evigan: the writers seem to think that by rolling up one of her trouser-legs to her knee, she'll look credible!. The love interest (Robert Hoffman) is so bland as to be boring and the Evil Dance Teacher (Will Kemp) may well be a talented dancer but his acting is wooden. Overall, the central love story is not going to capture the teen imagination in the way that the first movie did.

For all that, STEP UP 2 THE STREETS is still well worth seeing for the brilliantly choreographed dance scenes and music mixes in the final contest. It's truly impressive, and it's nice to see popular dance taken beyond a 3 minute backdrop to a rapper and given it's own show-case and soom room to breathe.

STEP UP 2 THE STREETS is already on release in the USA, Malaysia, the Netherlands, Iceland, Lithuania, Belgium, Luxembourg, the Czech Republic, Russia, Estonia, Greece, Poland, Romania, Germany, the Philippines, Singapore, South Korea, Thailand,Slovakia, Australia, Israel, the UK and Croatia. It opens in April in France and Italy; in Spain and Finland in June.