FANTASTIC FOUR: FIRST STEPS*

Bored as fuck watching FANTASTIC FOUR: FIRST STEPS. No humour, no grand emotional revelations, no chemistry between the leads, hackneyed action scenes and scoring, unclear why it's in a retro-Jetsons world, wondering if it would have more fun to just watch reruns of The Jetsons.

In this reimagining of the unloved ginger stepchild of the Marvel universe, the ubiquitous Pedro Pascal (enough already!) plays astronaut turned mutant Reed Richards and The Crown's Princess Margaret, Vanessa Kirby, plays his fellow astronaut turned mutant and pregnant wife Sue Storm.  GLADIATOR 2's Joseph Quinn plays Sue's brother Johnny and the quartet is rounded out by The Bear's Ebon Moss-Bachrach as the poor fucker who spends the film playing a rock-like thing called... The Thing.  

As the film opens, earth is under attack from a generic Big Bad with an emissary called the Silver Surfer (Julia Garner). The screenwriters try to have some IRON MAN style witty fun with Johnny asking her if the surfboard is part of her body. It lands flat. The plot revolves around the Big Bad wanting the astro-human baby because Power, and the astro-human baby's mum being understandably reluctant to give him up.  But I never really felt the stakes.  The family are so popular it's not like the humans are coming with pitchforks to steal the baby.  I never felt like the baby was at risk. I never felt like the mum was at risk. Rumble rumble, the end.

What a waste of on-screen talent. Especially Natasha Lyonne.  Director Matt Shakman (Wandavision): do better.  I think it's interesting that there are seven accredited screenwriters on this film, although to be fair that includes its comic-book creators. Maybe that speaks to its lack of forward momentum, clear linear narrative and muddiness. I also wonder whether with a concept so brilliantly deconstructed, parodied, but ultimately enhanced with THE INCREDIBLES, cinema-viewers have just moved beyond the source material.

FANTASTIC FOUR: FIRST STEPS is available to screen on Disney+. It has a running time of 115 minutes and is rated PG-13.

SERENITY

And so the McConaughaissance crests its wave with this awkwardly shit thriller from British writer-director Steven Knight (LOCKE, PEAKY BLINDERS).  McConaughey plays a washed up fisherman/tour guide for rich tourists on a paradise tropical island with a trademark wise loyal sidekick played by Djimon Hounsou.  All goes tits up when his ex-wife turns up begging him to kill her new abusive husband for the sake of their son.  The key issue is that earnest sweet princess-next-door Anne Hathaway sucks at playing a femme fatale, and there is zero chemistry between her and McC.  You wade through an hour of this awfulness and then the plot gets a bit twisty and momentarily interesting, except that you can't shake the feeling that this would all have been handled with more wit, brevity and horror in a BLACK MIRROR episode. 

Avoid at all costs. 

SERENITY is rated R and has a running time of 106 minutes. It is now available to rent and own.

Random DVD Round-Up 4 - THE SWITCH

THE SWITCH is not half as bad as I thought it would be. From the marketing campaign, I'd written it off as one of those Hollywood romantic-comedies featuring an actress too old to really be playing the ditzy chick, given a new shot at features with plots featuring getting knocked up. (Think J-Lo in THE BACK-UP PLAN). Worse still, having been bitten too often by risible, banal Jennifer Aniston rom-coms - distracted by her botox and repelled by the smell of desperation coming off the screen - I was simply in no mood for it. But I have to say that, basically thanks to a rather restrained performance by Jason Bateman, I rather liked it! 

 Directed by Josh Gordon and Will Speck (BLADES OF GLORY) the movie starts off as a crude frat-boy gross-out comedy but morphs into something altogether more thoughtful. The opening scenes take us through the mechanics of the set-up with a sort of knockabout humour that entirely failed to connect with me. Kassie (Jennifer Aniston) has a party to celebrate getting artificially inseminated by hunky Roland (Patrick Wilson). Her best friend Wally (Jason Bateman) thinks she's making a mistake, gets drunk, accidentally knocks over Roland's semen and replaces it with his own. Years later, Kassie moves back to the city with her little kid - an introspective odd-ball, and as Wally and Kassie tentatively rekindle their friendship, he starts to realise that he's the kids father. We then get what is actually some rather touching character-driven drama as Wally opens up about his own childhood to the kid, and breaks Kassie and Roland up. 

There's a lot of mono-dimensional character-writing in the film, to be sure. Poor Patrick Wilson has little to do except be buff - Juliette Lewis' balls-out craziness is entirely unused - and Jeff Goldblum is the cliché promiscuous but basically lonely older sleazebag. But somehow, underneath all that, we get Jason Bateman's character really baring his soul. And yes, I think on balance, watching this film is probably worth it for Bateman. 

THE SWITCH was released in Autumn 2010 and is now available to rent and own.

London Film Fest Day 11 - SON OF RAMBOW: A HOME MOVIE

Each year, one movie stands out as the great unexpected discovery of the London Film Fest. In 2005 it was CACHE and last year it was SHORTBUS. Far be it for me to prejudge the rest of the fest, but I have a feeling that for 2007, SON OF RAMBOW: A HOME MOVIE will be the stand-out movie. 4 MONTHS, 3 WEEKS, 2 DAYS, THE ASSASSINATION OF JESSE JAMES BY THE COWARD ROBERT FORD and INTO THE WILD were all deeply affecting and beautifully shot, to be sure. And SON OF RAMBOW doesn't match them on the tech package or profundity of the message. But for all that, SON OF RAMBOW has some very unique features: it's laugh-out-loud funny, anarchic, touching, nostalgic, crazy and despite touching on deep emotional issues, never heavy-handed or manipulative. Writer-director Garth Jennings must be very pleased that he'll be remembered for something other than that disastrous HITCH-HIKERS GUIDE adaptation!

So, what's it all about? It's 1980s Britain. An era of Corona soda, fizzing sherbet, New Romantics, pirated VHS tapes and cassette mix-tapes recorded from the Radio 1 Top 40 on a Sunday night. Will is a straight-laced kid with a vivid imagination and a flair for drawing. He lives in a family with strict religious beliefs, including being banned from watching TV. He forms an unlikely friendship with the school trouble-maker, Carter, who also has issues with absentee parents and a distant elder brother who he idolises. Will watches a pirate copy of FIRST BLOOD - can you imagine a more crazy way to be introduced to video?! - and creates a fantasy world in which he's the Son of Rambow who rescues his father from the clutches of the Evil Scarecrow. So the kids start shooting the home movie and soon all the cool kids in school - including the insanely cool French exchange kid, Didier - are clamouring to join in.

In terms of production values, the movie glories in the "look" of the early 80s and the incidental props are spot on. Jennings seems to like very staged set pieces in the manner of Wes Anderson. This is particularly evident in the scenes with Didier and his acolytes. In front of the camera, the actors do a great job - especially the two kids in the lead roles. You really buy into their budding friendship. The relationship between Will and his mother, battling to preserve her religious beliefs in the modern world, is also very touching.

But the biggest sell is that the film is extremely funny. And not in an ironic, deadpan, oh-so-clever way but in a straight-from-the-gut belly-laugh way. A skinny little English kid dressed up as Rambo is just funny. But beyond this there's a silly joy at physical comedy as well as some classic one-liners. It's a world of practical jokes, pratt-falls and taking the piss out of all the stupid clothes we wore in the early 80s. Nostalgia-tastic!

SON OF RAMBOW: A HOME MOVIE played Sundance, Toronto and London 2007. It opens in the UK on March 28th 2008 and in the US on May 2nd.