THE GREEN HORNET - in which Hollywood pisses on my eiderdown once more

I am HUGELY disappointed by THE GREEN HORNET. I know it had a "troubled" journey to our screens, with Kevin Smith's scripts hacked and directors dropping out like so many milk-teeth. But when it got to the final credit list, I was full of anticipation. After all, this was a superhero movie that was going to be set square in the tradition of fond mockery - the tradition that produced the brilliantly funny KICK-ASS and genre-pastiches like PINEAPPLE EXPRESS. And who better to mock fondly than director Michel Gondry - the guy behind the wonderfully sweet, adorably goofy BE KIND, REWIND, not to mention quirkier, stranger, more brilliantly crazy THE SCIENCE OF SLEEP. The cast looked fly too - the newly trim Seth Rogen - hilarious in PINEAPPLE EXPRESS was going to bring that child-like enthusiasm and general all-round good-egg persona to the role of Britt Reid/The Green Hornet, playboy millionaire turned masked-crime-fighter. Cameron Diaz - always willing to take the piss out of herself - was going to play the love interest, Lenore Case. We had the promise of INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS' Chrisoph Waltz as the evil villain Chudnofsky. And best of all for Battlestar Galactica geeks, we had Edward James "Adama" Olmos as the editor of the Daily Sentinel. Okay, so I'd never heard of the Jay Chou, guy who plays The Hornet's sidekick, Kato, but I was willing to roll with it. So there it was - I was all ready for a superhero pastiche/homage full of good jokes, ridonkulous super-weapons and a general good-time.

But what did I get? Joke-free boredom. And without jokes, all this movie becomes is a Batman/Superman knock-off. Derivative, predictable, silly, emotionally involving, and absolutely no stakes. And when the jokes don't work you have to blame either the script or the actors or, in the case of physical humour, the director. So, Seth Rogen, Evan Goldberg, Jay Chou, Cameron Diaz, Christoph Waltz, Michel Gondry, I know want you to go and stand in the corner and think VERY carefully about what you've done. Especially Gondry. I mean, I am genuinely amazed that Gondry even knows how to direct something this banal.

Evidently, somewhere in Hollywood, in some drawer, there is a Kevin Smith script for THE GREEN HORNET that is frackin' amazing. Somewhere, years ago, in some producer's office, there was a dream of a brilliantly witty, action-filled movie. The dream, ladies and gentlemen, is dead.

P.S. I got so angry when I was writing this review that I forgot to mention the biggest insult of all! This movie has been retro-fitted with 3D after principal photography was completed. The result is a film that costs an extra few pounds to see, and where the only material impact of 3D is that it looks several shades more dull than if you were watching it without the glasses.  There are no cool action shots that are enhanced by it. There's no immersive, subtle enhancement of depth of field. Just cynical commercial decision-making at its most brazen.

THE GREEN HORNET is on release in Belgium, Chile, Egypt, France, Belgium, Chile, Egypt, France, Switzerland, Germany, Hungary, the Netherlands, Austria, Canada, Estonia, India, Spain, the UK, the USA and Venezuela. It opens next weekend in Australia, New Zealand, Iceland, Norway, Sweden and Japan. It opens on the 28th January in Greece, Singapore and Italy. It opens on February 3rd in Russia.

London Film Festival Day 7 - TOKYO!

TOKYO! is a three part movie comprising three thirty-five minute shorts loosely linked by surreal goings-on in Tokyo. The first and most successful segment is directed by Michel Gondry called INTERIOR DESIGN. An aspiring art-house film director and his supportive girlfriend are struggling to make ends meet. They’re camping out at her friend’s cramped apartment, dodging questions about how long they’re thinking of staying, and taking menial work to pay the fine to get their car out of the pound. One day, the girlfriend, fed up with being the artist’s practical support, finds herself turning into a sturdy wooden chair! And, once in this state, she’s picked up by a random passer by who takes her/it to his flat. There, she carves a contented existence, providing practical support when he’s at home and living a nice unhurried life as a real girl when he’s not. It’s a rather touching and bizarre little film.

The next segment, directed by Leos Carax, slips nicely from simply odd to scarily ghoulish. One day, a disfigured man with a red-beard emerges from a sewer and causes havoc in downtown Tokyo, despite the fact that he’s not actually doing anything more threatening that being unwashed and insolent – that is until he stumbles upon a box of hand grenades. He’s picked up by the authorities and we get very funny news reports showing that the government’s first reaction is to tighten immigration laws. The strange man is eventually tried and sentenced to death on the urgings of the ultra-nationalists, but to everyone’s chagrin is reluctant to die. He may hate people, especially Japanese people, but he love’s life! MERDE is a provocative short, taking some nice pot shots at media hype and showing real visual flair in the scenes in the courtroom and on death row. I guess you could also read something into it regarding the Japanese attitude to foreigners, but it was fairly ambiguous.

The final segment is a film by Joon-ho Bong (THE HOST) about an obsessive-compulsive hermit whose perfectly ordered and repetitive life is disturbed when he falls for a pizza delivery girl. She’s so moved by the perfection if his apartment that she hands in her notice and decides to become a hermit too, forcing him to leave his apartment for the first time in eleven years to meet her. SHAKING TOKYO is a bittersweet, delicate romance featuring a moving central performance and lovely production design. It's a million miles away from THE HOST, which might, however, disappoint fans.

Overall, I remain unconvinced about these collections of shorts. The links between the segments always feel forced, although they’re clearer here than in the random jumble of PARIS JE T’AIME. I can’t say that I got any greater insight into the segments by virtue of watching them back to back. Nonetheless, whether viewed together or singly, they make for interesting viewing.

TOKYO! played Cannes and London 2008. It was released earlier this year in Japan and is currently on release in France and Singapore. It goes on limited release in the US on December 5th.

BE KIND, REWIND - a love letter to VHS

BE KIND REWIND is the first of two movies starring Danny Glover as an old man forced to adapt to modernity. In this film he owns a crusty video shop in New Jersey. The building is so decrepit that the local council is going to demolish it to put up some shiny new condominiums. And in the age of DVD blockbusters, all Mr Fletcher's customers are leaving him for his rival West Coast Video. Glover plays Mr Fletcher as hardened to life's knocks. He faces up to reality, decides to move his stock to DVD and, if all else fails, to grit his teeth and move to the Projects. Against Mr Fletcher's realism we have the delightful optimism of Jack Black, Mos Def and Melonie Diaz, aka Jeff, Mike and Alma. These three goofballs decide to replace the videos that Mike has accidentally magentised with a bunch of home-made 20-minute "homages"/spoofs or "Swedes". These movies become super-popular with the customers, tired of homogenised Hollywood fare. Audiences delight in their shared experience of classic movies - the scenes we all know by heart - and finally start taking part themselves. Of course, the Feds stomp on the vids for copyright infringement, but not before one final hurrah - a movie about Jazz piano legend Fats Waller. Never mind that Waller didn't actually grow up in Passaic, NJ. That's the joy of shared memory and experience - we own it, and we can change it!

The first hour of this movie shows us the machinations of how all the video tapes got wiped. It's a pretty convoluted tale and has none of the honest simplicity of the similarly themed movie, SON OF RAMBOW: A HOME MOVIE. The movie only really feels like it lifts off in the second half hour, when the gang starts making the flicks. Cinephiles will take sheer delight in seeing those childhood movies recreated. As Michel Gondry proved in last year's outstanding THE SCIENCE OF SLEEP, he is the king of things to make and do. I also love the theme of the flick - far better to go out and do stuff yourself - gonzo-style - than be the passive recipient of other people's dreams.

You can't deny that the movie has a lot of heart. And I always find that Jack Black is more funny when restrained by a strong ensemble cast and director - so I prefer him here to, say, NACHO LIBRE. Mos Def is charming, and it's great to see Melonie Diaz (who's been consistently impressive since RAISING VICTOR VARGAS) get a proper starring role too.

My only real criticism is that BE KIND REWIND takes too long to get to the good stuff, and that everything about how we get to the Sweded films seems hopelessly contrived. If you like this film, I strongly recommend you check out SON OF RAMBOW to see how the same light-hearted material can be grounded in something real and, therefore, all the more emotionally engaging.

BE KIND, REWIND played Sundance and Berlin 2008. It opens in the US and UK today. It opens in March in France, Israel, Iceland, Norway, Australia, Singapore, Finland, Turkey and Russia. It opens in April in Spain, Sweden and Argentina. It opens on May 8th in the Netherlands.

Two overlooked music docs of the month - BRASILEIRINHO and DAVE CHAPPELLE'S BLOCK PARTY

Two very different music docs out on DVD. The first is a doc called BRASILERINHO from Finnish director (and brother of Aki) Mika Kaurismäki. For 90 minutes we get virtuosi Brazilian musicians playing choro - the prescursor of samba and the first truly Brazilian form of music. It combines European classical dance forms, complex inprovisation and counter-point, and African rhythem. At first we see small ensembles playing in concert halls - mostly guitars and mandolins. Slowly we add in tambourine players, brass players, singers and veen dancers, before a rousing big band finale. The documentary is evidently a labour of love and passion and the virtuosity of the musicians shines through. The quality of music is exceptional and the director has the good sense not to complicate matters with over-editing. What we do have is a very high quality sound mix (Uwe Dresch) and lensing (Jacques Cheuiche) that holds a steady close admiring view of the players. Because the doc does not spend too much time contextualising the music or imposing a narrative structure on the music, non music-buffs might be frustrated. For my part, this was a fascinating concert doc, and when it was over, Doc007 and I immediately went back and played our favourite tracks over. Perfect for a rare balmy London evening.

The second doc is DAVE CHAPPELLE'S BLOCK PARTY. This is a production that brims over with good-will - as befits a project wherein a super-rich comedian local-boy brings a bunch of world-class rap stars back home to Bed-Sty for a free street concert. There's enough of Dave Chappelle charming people into turning up and free-style riffing on stage for those of use who've never caught his Comedy Central show to realise what a good comedian he is. And there's enough concert footage for us to appreciate the musicianship. But the doc lacks the simple focus of BRASILEIRINHO - the sets are too short and the comedy too fleeting. I love Jill Scott and The Fugees and there simply wasn't enough of either! I'm also unconvinced by Michel Gondry and Ellen Kuras (DP)'s shooting style. The movie seems seems to unsettled - too choppy - and distracts from the musicians. Still, all of us waiting for that Fugees reunion will take what we can get.

BRASILEIRINHO played Berlin 2006 and was released in France and Belgium in 2005, in Finland and Hungary in 2006 and in the UK on March 23rd 2007. It is now available on DVD.

DAVE CHAPPELLE'S BLOCK PARTY played Toronto 2006 and Berlin 2006. It opened in the US, UK, Germany, France, Czach Republic, Greece, and Japan in 2006. It is available on DVD.

THE SCIENCE OF SLEEP/LA SCIENCE DES REVES - kooky, romantic, beautiful

THE SCIENCE OF SLEEP is a visual and imaginative tour de force from writer-director Michel Gondry (THE ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND). Some say that unshackled from post-modern cult writer, Charlie Kauffman, Gondry has slipped into beautiful but self-indulgent and ultimately boring whimsy. I beg to differ. While I can see the intelligence and conceptual brilliance of a movie like ETERNAL SUNSHINE, Kauffman's films have always left me a little cold. The characters always seemed like pawns in a clever game and I found the movies emotionally sterile. (Perhaps this is the point?) By contrast, THE SCIENCE OF SLEEP is deeply personal and each character is well-loved and engaging, despite going on a surreal, sometimes creepy romantic thrill-ride.

Our hero is a young artist called Stéphane with a child-like fondness for inventing things and optical illusions. Lured back to Paris from Mexico by his French mother with the offer of a creative job, Stéphane finds himself stuck as a typesetter in a basement full of kooky colleagues. The most memorable of these is a middle-aged alleged love-monster called Guy who mercilessly takes the piss out of his co-workers and upstages the lead characters whenever he is on screen. Faced with such a numbing job, Stéphane retreats into his richly imagined dreamworld. Here he is the star of his own Blue Peter style childrens TV show; he can kick his boss out of the window; and he can have fantasies about his co-worked Martine. However, events really kick off when he meets his shy neighbour Stéphanie. At first, he fancies her friend, but soon, Stéphanie's obession with rescuing knitted dolls and making things wins Stéphane over. The question is: will Stéphanie allow herself to be drawn into this charming, romantic dream-world and find love.

It should now be clear that you cannot approach this film with a cynical mind-set. The whole point is to confront us with an infantile man and ask us what is wrong with his reversion into dreams. To that end, the production & costume design betrays an attention to detail not seen since THE ROYAL TENENBAUMS and the characters have a similar habit of saying exactly what they think, no matter how naif or down-right bizarre that seems to us.

If the movie walks a fine line between whimsy and ridiculousness, it stays on the right side thanks largely to a laugh out loud funny script and outstanding performances from all lead and supporting actors. Among the supporting cast, Alain Chabat (LE GOUT DES AUTRES) is outstanding as Guy. And as far as the leads go, while Charlotte Gainsbourg is absolutely fine as Stéphanie, the revelation is Gael García Bernal as Stéphane. I have always liked his work but it has all been off a piece - THE CRIMES OF PADRE AMARO to THE KING to BAD EDUCATION, he has played sexually confident, almost predatory men. By contrast, in THE SCIENCE OF SLEEP he plays a shy, child-like character completely convincingly and - more of a revelation - plays comedy really well, moving as easily between English, Spanish and French as his character moves between dreams and reality.

THE SCIENCE OF SLEEP played Berlin 2006 and went on release in France, Germany, the US, Belgium, Russia, Denmark, Israel, Portugal, Mexico, Poland, the Netherlands, Greece, Hong Kong, Sweden, Turkey and Estonia in 2006. It opened in Finland and Italy in January 2007 and is currently on release in Spain and the UK. It opens in Japan on April 7th, in Australia on May 3rd and in Argentina on August 9th. THE SCIENCE OF SLEEP is also available on Region 1 DVD.

ZIDANE – a 21st CENTURY PORTRAIT - the clue is in the title

ZIDANE – a 21st CENTURY PORTRAIT is an odd sort of film. It’s basically like watching the full 90 minutes of a league football match on Sky Sports but using the Player Cam to focus only on Zidane. At the same time, you get the odd existential muttering from Zidane on audio, plus a cool-as-Professor-007 soundtrack by Mogwai. I have to say that I am a great fan of Zidane – to my uneducated eye, he is one of the greatest footballers ever to have graced the pitch. The question is whether this larger than life player-cam gives us any new insight to his greatness. I am doubtful. In the light of the World Cup final, I would have loved to see a documentary focusing on Zidane’s life in football and exploring how he felt about all the prejudice he has had to deal with. But this is not that film. It is, after all, an art installation, as the title suggests, rather than a conventional documentary. And, I suspect that it is far better suited to an art gallery that to a commercial movie theatre.

ZIDANE – a 21st showed at Cannes 2006 and has since been on release in France, the UAE and Japan. It opens in the UK on Friday.