SEX DRIVE - piss-poor alleged comedy aimed firmly at the horny teen demographic.

SEX DRIVE is the kind of film that makes me grateful that I grew up laughing cheekily at flicks like FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH and WEIRD SCIENCE - teen comedies that actually bothered to develop characters and crack jokes rather than just string together a bunch of boob shots, jizz jokes and gay taunts. Seriously, debut writer-director Sean Anders should be ashamed of having put together such a lazy, derivative movie. There are no laugh-out-loud moments. No deep and abiding truths. No flashes of sentimentality underneath all the crass vulgarity.

The plot, for what it's worth, sees a geeky, horny teen called Ian (Josh Zuckerman) steal a sweet car from his elder brother (James Marsden) and drive cross country to bang a chick he met on line. He takes along his highly sexed best friend Lance (Clark Duke) and best friend Felicia (Amanda Crew). On route, they encounter the regulation slack-jawed yokels and, why not?!, horny Amish people. The only truly comedic performance is from Seth Green.

SEX DRIVE was released in 2008 in the Netherlands, Iceland, the US, Belgium, Greece, Australia, the Philippines, Thailand, Sweden, Singapore, Finland, Turkey and Estonia. It is currently on release in Croatia, Argentina and the UK. It goes on release in Brazil on January 16th; in New Zealand on February 5th; in the Czech Republic on March 12th; in Slovakia on March 19th; and in Germany on March 26th.

Oslo's so nice my enjoyment of it has been completely unimpaired by watching THE BEST MAN

Norway's a great country, especially when contrasted with the malfunctional war-zone that is Heathrow Terminal 4. Everything is well designed and built of solid wood by people who had a degree of professional pride. There's some beautiful architecture, a thriving jazz scene, and money to be made (hence my trip.) But there are also a bunch of cinemas. Now, the only film I hadn't seen of the many that were playing was THE BEST MAN. It's only when I got back to my room and onto IMDB that I realised the reason: THE BEST MAN went straight to video in the US and UK. No surprise. This is a truly lame-ass romantic-comedy. Seriously, it makes RUN FATBOY RUN look like WHEN HARRY MET SALLY.

The script is shite. Pure unadulterated cliche. Sweet girl is getting hitched to slimy yuppie. His best mate is a nice sensitive guy. The bride to be and the best mate fall for each other. The wacky side-kick engineers funny situations in which the bride realises what a sleaze-bag the yuppie is. Oh, and she also has a spiky best friend so everyone can couple up at the end. Unbelievable, unfunny. Just the worst. So, when I say that the actors are largely uninspired this is no real criticism. Still even here, we have a scale. Steve John Shepherd is at one end with a truly wooden performance as the yuppie. Amy Smart and Stuart "Coulda Been Aragorn" Townsend are fine as the bride and best man respectively. But the only actors displaying any real comic timing are Kate Ashfield (SHAUN OF THE DEAD) and Seth Green - who we all knew was a comedy genius anyways.

What else remains? Well, it's nice to see a London-set film where people hang out in Soho and drink lager rather than poncing round the Swiss Re tower.

THE BEST MAN opened in Germany, Austria, Italy, Russia, Spain and Israel in 2006 and went straight to DVD in the US. It is currently showing in Norway.