Friday, February 24, 2006

THE FOG - not scary

Well, I can't call THE FOG "this week's piss-poor seventies remake" because it is based on a movie that came out in 1980, but you get the drift. The 1980s version was directed by John Carpenter (of HALLOWEEN fame) and was a moderately successful horror film. As the title suggests, an American coastal town is enveloped in fog, out of which emerge vengeful ghost sailors. Oh yes. The movie wasn't fantastic but it looked great, the acting was fine, and Carpenter did manage to ratchet up the tension as the story progressed. I haven't seen it for a while, but I do remember a few moments that made me jump. The problem with the remake is that it looks fake, the acting is poor, and it is not scary AT ALL. While I was sitting in the theatre not being scared I had some time on my hands. I spent that time wondering: a) why remake THE FOG at all? b) why use CGI fog when it just looks fake rather than creepy, and you can make real fog easily enough? c) why is Tom Welling a.k.a Clark Kent in TV's Smallville not making harmless teen comedies? d) what the hell is Selma Blair doing with her career? I honestly think she is great actress, but with the exception of the Todd Solondz flick, STORYTELLING, how would we know? e) can we sue director, Rupert Wainwright, for crimes against cinema? So far, he has inflicted MC Hammer videos, STIGMATA and this god-awful remake on us. If we don't incarcerate him, he'll probably end up helming Deuce Bigalow 3. Answers on the back of a post-card please.

THE FOG went on release in the US in October 2005. It is now on release in the UK, Austria and Germany and hits France on April 12th 2006.


  1. I guess Wainwright's judgment was clouded.

  2. Everyone deserves a second chance. But this guy is a serial offender. Unless his judgement was clouded by opium fumes, in which case he needs medical attention, he should be banned from directing under the "three strikes and you're out rule".