Monday, July 21, 2025
JURASSIC WORLD: REBIRTH****
Saturday, November 16, 2024
GLADIATOR II****
GLADIATOR II is glorious trash. I can't see it winning any Oscars, but the two hour plus running time flies by. There's a ridiculous gladiatorial battle featuring a rhino an hour after it starts, and an even more ridiculous one featuring sharks an hour before it finishes. There's a serviceable plot, lots of fan service from the original, and a juicy performance from Denzel Washington. I don't think it will do for Paul Mescal what it did for Russell Crowe. He has precious little to say. But I was, indeed, entertained.
The movie opens with an epic naval assault on a north African town led by Pedro Pascal's war weary Roman general Acacius. It results in Paul Mescal's warrior Hanno being taken prisoner and his wife being killed. (Note in this version of Rome, women can be warriors too - but they still can't have meaningful impact on the plot.) Back in Rome, Hanno manages to impress Denzel Washington's political mover and shaker and Gladiatorial sponsor Macrinus. Hanno does this by fighting of a ludicrously CGI'd warrior monkey - the only duff note in the whole film. For me, the joy of these films is that they scrupulously bring dusty, vital, chaotic Rome to life. I hate anything that brings me out of that.
And so the plot moves into gear. Hanno wants revenge on Acacius, little realising that Acacius is as disenchanted with the corruption of Rome as he is. Acacius has a loyal legion based in Ostia ready to launch a coup and install his wife, Lucilla (Connie Nielsen) as Marcus Aurelius' literal and philosophical heir.
The corruption of Rome is represented by the young, feckless twin Emperors Geta and Caracalla (Joseph Quinn and Fred Hechinger) and a largely supine Senate represented by the bankrupt Senator Thrax (Tim McInnerny).
Somewhere between the two factions lies Macrinus, a power broker who bankrupts Thrax and gains the ear of the Emperors. Is he on the side of Aurelius or opposed? Will he help Hanno or betray him?
The resulting film is full of amazing visual spectacle and kinetic fight scenes. I loved John Mathieson's cinematography and the CGI rendering of ancient Rome is I found it curiously chaste for an R-rated movie though. We barely see Acacius and Lucilla kiss. Macrinus hints as his bisexuality but apparently a male-on-male kissing scene was edited out. The twin emperors wear heavy make-up and one is meant to be gay, but it's all rather milquetoast. Still, I suppose sex scenes aren't the point in a sword-and-sandal epic.
GLADIATOR has a running time of 148 minutes and is rated R. It is on release in the UK and opens on November 22nd in the USA.
Spoilers follow: it's hard not to watch this film in light of the US election and to see clear parallels with the corruption of Rome and the newly installed kakocracy in America. One could argue that Caracalla's appointment of Dondas is equivalent to Trump's nomination of Gaetz. And that the pure power philosophy of Macrinus, so Nietzschean, is that of Trump. And there's something tragic and true in Macrinus calling bullshit on the Dream of Rome. Aurelius may have wanted to restore power to the Senate and People of Rome, but he wasn't about to end slavery. Macrinus' nihilism actually makes more sense than all the Hollywood schmalz, especially if you know anything about Roman history.
Friday, May 24, 2024
THE FALL GUY**
THE FALL GUY is rated PG-13 and has a running time of 126 minutes. It is on global release.
Monday, March 25, 2024
DAMSEL**
DAMSEL is rated PG-13 and has a running time of 110 minutes. It was released on Netflix a few weeks ago.
ROAD HOUSE (2024)**
ROAD HOUSE is rated R and has a running time of 121 minutes. It played SXSW and is currently streaming on Amazon Prime Video.
MADAME WEB**
New York, 2003. A tough cynical loner paramedic resents her dead mother for conducting dangerous experiments in South America while pregnant, so dying in childbirth. After an accident, the loner discovers she can see into the future and so prevent bad stuff happening. She also finds herself taking care of three young women who are being stalked by an evil villain in a spider suit. He's also had a vision that these wastrels are gonna kill him in the future. Meanwhile, our heroine's best friend and fellow paramedic Ben Parker's sister-in-law is about to go into labour.
The well known problem with MADAME WEB is that 15 years into the Marvel revolution nobody gives a shit. Dakota Johnson - whose low-key low-energy style suits many an indie film - definitely doesn't give a shit about a lead role she is miscast in. Tahar Rahim (NAPOLEON) and Zosia Mamet (Girls) is wasted as the baddie. The three young women are given underwritten parts that are just a bag of tropes. Spoiled rich brat, nerdy shy girl etc. The action scenes from first-time feature director S J Clarkson are uninspired. The prologue is unnecessary. And the script is overlong with too many establishing examples of how being pre-cog works. The final shot features a now blind and paraplegic Madame Web hovering, masked, with her three proteges. It's a flash forward to a film nobody wants to see.
MADAME WEB is rated PG-13 and has a running time of 113 minutes. It is on global release.
Sunday, September 10, 2023
JAWAN (SOLDIER)****
Shah Rukh Khan stars as a masked vigilante with six female sidekicks who robs the rich to both give to the poor and raise awareness of their plight. While the police might crow that they want to see the women in prison, the joke is that they already are. We learn that their crimes were justified by social injustice and that Shah Rukh Khan is actually their prison warden, Azad. And while they rail against systemic injustice in all its forms, it becomes clear that Azad's real nemesis is a weapons dealer called Kaalee Gaikwad (Vijay Sethypathi). Meanwhile, in a real life totally unnecessary sub-plot, Azad is being set up for an arranged marriage with - natch - Narmada (Nayanthara), a police hostage negotiator, and her cute little girl Suji.
The plot is genuinely complicated and full of twists that really surprised and satisfied me. The slow reveals of multi-generational injustice are very well done, and even the trailer to this film was a superb misdirect. So kudos to all of the writing team. The action set pieces are also absolutely fantastic. The choreography and shooting style, whether in the hand to hand combat or big vehicle chase scenes, are superlative. There are some great stylistic twists on classic set-ups, like when someone drops their gun and it ends up wedged in a lorry's windscreen, alerting the bad guys to the good guys' presence. I also really loved the Indian Expendables using decidedly old-school tricks to foil a plot and would gladly see a spin off of these old rogues careering around on motorbikes dispensing justice A-team style. I also loved the occasional flashes of humour, particularly in that Expendables aspect. There are some fantastic one-liners here.
I also really loved the fact that the film is progressive in its politics. It's quite radical that Narmada is a single mum and that this isn't held against her by Azad. In Modi's India it's probably quite radical to show a band of special forces fighters that are as racially and religiously diverse as India. It's also quite radical to see Atlee show so clearly the social injustices of contemporary India - the heavy financial burden and consequent suicides of Indian farmers - the shocking health divide between public and private hospitals - the ongoing toxic pollution from factories, nearly four decades after Bhopal - businessmen buying off politicians and directly buying votes - dodgy public procurement resulting in shoddy goods and the loss of life.
Most of all, the final speech that Azad gives to the Indian nation is deeply radical, and not least because Shah Rukh Khan - a Muslim married to a Hindu - is giving it. He tells them to use their finger to vote wisely (in a nation where you press the screen on an electronic voting machine) - to question what politicians will do for them rather than just voting along religious or caste lines. It strikes me that this is a powerful and simple message rather at odds with Modi's message of religious and caste separatism and exclusion. I applaud Khan for being able to make such speeches in the heightened politicised atmosphere in a Bollywood where "cancel culture" doesn't even begin to cover it. And where his own position as an example of a successful diverse family is not welcomed by large sections of society. That said, how does he square the antagonist being an arms dealer with his lauding Sanjay Dutt in a cameo role, given his real life implications in weapons dealing? Or is the line that Dutt was himself the victim of corrupt politics? Either way, it's good to see Sanju back on screen after his fight with lung cancer. It's a great cameo.
On the negative side of the scale, there's still a rather regretful social conservatism that pervades the film, in contrast to the more thorough going radicalism of ROCKY AUR RANI. There's something rather retrograde about the Charlie's Angels concept - a bunch of super smart talented women waiting to take orders from their Chief. And let's not forget that the central beef is really one between men - Azad vs Kaalee Gaikwad. The woman are kind of incidental to this. We even see this played out in the song lyrics that have Shah Rukh Khan singing about "being a man among men" in a scene set in a women's prison. Laughable.
The other two things that really let the film down are the music and the romantic relationships. Anirudh Ravichander's score is obvious, unimaginative and the big song and dance set pieces are really lame. There's not a memorable tune among them, the choreography is super-basic, and the costumes are also cheap. It takes a lot to make someone as beautiful as Deepika Padukone look ordinary but somehow this film manages it. What makes it worse is the way the songs are spread (or not spread) through the film. For instance, in the first half we open with two absolute banger action scenes, and then bring the momentum to a halt with two lame songs. Even worse, the only tune that's remotely memorable is stuck over the end credits where in the cinema I was in the lights were already on and people leaving. D'oh.
Finally, while the female lead actress Nayanthara is beautiful she has zero charisma on screen, and certainly zero chemistry with her much older male counterpart Shah Rukh Khan. I wonder if part of the reason is that she's used to acting in a different language? The problem with Nayanthara is only made more obvious in contrast with the chemistry between Khan and Padukone and the latter's obvious ease on screen. It's because of her character Aishwarya that we feel the film has a heart, and her central scene is the only one that actually moved me to tears, despite almost every character having that one glycerine teardrop down their right cheek at one time or another.
Still, for all its flaws, JAWAN remains compelling. You're unlikely to see better action set pieces in Indian cinema this year, and maybe - bar MI7 - in cinema full stop.
JAWAN has a running time of 169 minutes and is rated 15. It went on global release on September 7th.
Friday, September 08, 2023
INDIANA JONES AND THE DIAL OF DESTINY**
INDIANA JONES AND THE DIAL OF DESTINY has a running time of 154 minutes and is rated PG-13. It opened in June 2023 and is now available to rent and own.
Tuesday, September 05, 2023
TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES: MUTANT MAYHEM*****
MEG 2: THE TRENCH*
Thursday, August 31, 2023
THE EQUALISER 3****
Something interesting is happening with THE EQUALISER 3. I was expecting another "does what it says on the tin" vigilante film, along the lines of 1 and 2. But 3 has a confidence and a vibe that altogether surpasses its predecessors. It is so patient in doing the work to create its emotional climax that I wonder if it's even commercial.
The plot is simple enough and sounds like a standard Equaliser film. In the course of equalising a wrong in a Sicilian mafia cell, our protagonist Robert McCall (Denzel Washington) stumbles upon an operation to import ISIS-manufactured hard drugs, the sale of which is funding terrorist attacks in Europe. He calls the scheme in to CIA operative Emma Collins (Dakota Fanning) who brings in the Americans to investigate. Meanwhile, McCall recuperates in a beautiful small town terrorised by organised crime, and decides to equalise their wrongs.
What makes this film fascinating is the way in which the franchise's director, Antoine Fuqua, chooses to go about his business in this final instalment.
First of all, the style of violence is brutal but credible, and acknowledges McCall/Washington's age. The action sequences are skilful and suspenseful but does not require the superhuman anti-ageing of Tom Cruise in a MI film, or the CGI de-ageing of Harrison Ford in an Indiana Jones film. McCall's equalising is brutal and effective but always feels perfectly plausible for an older man.
Second, the pace is deliberately slow and the language probably over half in Italian, in a way that truly pays off in the final act. Fuqua really takes his time establishing McCall's rejuvenation in Altamonte's small town. The friendship with Dr Enzo, and the slow growth of trust between Robert and the townsfolk, are lightly essayed but deeply moving. The language never switches entirely to English. I would estimate that over half of the dialogue is in Italian, and I wonder if that choice will impact the film's commercial success. But I loved that choice, as it once again roots McCall in the life of Altamonte and roots us in the stakes of wresting it free of the Camorra.
The result is a film that has - as strange as it might sound - an elegance, a lightness of touch, but a real impact. This is enhanced by some truly beautiful cinematography and framing from Fuqua and cinematographer Robert Richardson, as well as the sparing inclusion of only two powerfully choreographed and compelling action sequences.
It's kind of strange that people don't seem to really talk about Fuqua or this franchise much. And yet with this instalment - that is so superior to its predecessors - I feel we need to reassess both. Why have they slipped under the radar? Is it because, like the film's protagonist, they are so quiet, unassuming and efficient that they don't call attention to itself? Let me know if you know.
THE EQUALISER 3 is rated R, has a running time of 109 minutes, and is on global release.
Sunday, February 05, 2023
PLANE***
The action set pieces are great fun as is Butler's brand of low-key smarmy humour. I like that they acknowledge he's human. He gets puffed out after fighting off a rebel in a telephone exchange. When he's succeeded in landing the plane at the end he takes a moment just to let the adrenaline run down and to have a bit of a manly cry. I also love how they film the plane. There's a really great shot at the end where they frame it from the perspective of the top of the fin, perfectly symmetrical. And I'm not going to lie. Under direction from Jean Froicois Richet (MESRINE), I was seriously stressed out in the final set-piece, totally involved in whether the plane would make it. So mock it all you like, this film may be hokey, but it works!
PLANE has a running time of 107 minutes and is rated R. It is on global release.
Sunday, December 11, 2022
THE WOMAN KING****
THE WOMAN KING is a curiously old-fashioned and satisfying action epic that brings to an untold (at least in the west) story of the Dahomey empire the same kind of sword and sandal grand sweep of films like GLADIATOR. Director Gina
Prince Bythewood (THE SECRET LIFE OF BEES) proves to be an impressive helmer of large-scale battle sequences. Cinematographer Polly Morgan conjures up majestic landscapes and the visceral heat of the red-earthed soil. And Terrence Blanchard gives us a score that both has orchestral majesty and the bone-stirring war-cries of native songs. This is a film to stir us and impress us. Just look at Viola Davis' newly jacked physique. She and her female warriors look every inch the part. But this film also gives us real emotion and doesn't shy away from the terror of war, far beyond the typical machismo of male-led films. When Davis' General Nansica relates how she was the victim of rape, we are with her in her trauma. When her deputy Izogie (Lashana Lynch) and her newly trained warrior Nawe (Thuso Mbedu) are captured, we feel their peril. Maybe this isn't such old-fashioned film-making after all.
The only thing that lets this film down is its rather wooden dialogue from screenwriters Dana Stevens and Maria Bello, and a rather thinly drawn set of antagonists in John Boyega's King and his wife. What the film posits is a callow king who is torn between taking the riches of slavery (his wife's advice) and standing up to the neighbouring Oyo tribe and diverting his own economy toward palm oil production (Nansica's advice). Sadly the King does little but look aggrieved and his wife is a caricature rich spoiled woman. The film could've done more to show her motivations, given that her position is actually the one that the Dahomey empire took.
THE WOMAN KING is rated PG-13 and has a running time of 135 minutes.
Sunday, November 13, 2022
BLACK PANTHER: WAKANDA FOREVER**
Nowhere is this more evident than in the character of Shuri, T'Challa's younger sister and science nerd. As written by Coogler and played by Letitia Wright, Shuri spends the entire film crying and quiet. Even the final scene is of her burning mourning clothes. I feel we could have gotten to her decision to move forward and adopt the mantle of Black Panther half way through the excessively long run-time.
The claustrophobically negative atmosphere spreads to the B-plot which sees Tenoch Huerta introduced as the character Namur. He leads an underwater kingdom of mer-people who also have access to Vibranium. Namur is pissed off that T'Challa took the decision to tell the world about its wonders and so put his own kingdom at risk of colonial exploitation from the Americans.
I really liked Huerta's performance and the design of this kingdom but the whole plot seemed weak as fuck. He wants to ally with Wakanda against the imperials, but tells them if they don't ally with him he'll launch war on them. Charming! So you end up with a massive battle between the two Vibranium super-powers with the real-world power of America left on the sidelines along with all of the American characters - Martin Freeman's CIA agent, his ex-wife - a wasted Julia Louis-Dreyfus who is now his boss, and Dominique Thorne as the MIT student who invented the vibranium detector. The fact that the latter is squeezed out of screen-time is particularly sad, as it means the movie doesn't really explore the issue of the African-American versus African experience.
I also wonder how actual Africans feel about a film where lots of African-Americans are putting on a variety of accents and an African-American writer-director is creating a version of wise oracular Africa guided by its ancestors. Not to mention the LGB community who must be looking at the almost embarrassed way the movie hints at a lesbian relationship between Danai Gurira's general and her sidekick played by Michaela Coel. Somehow being so embarrassed about showing a proper kiss is even worse than not having any representation at all.
WAKANDA FOREVER has a running time of 161 minutes and is rated PG-13. It is on global release.
Sunday, October 31, 2021
FREE GUY****
FREE GUY is an absolutely hilarious, heartwarming, fast-paced, action-adventure film that perfectly entertains the family. If I've docked it a point, it's only because the plot and concept are highly derivative of films like THE MATRIX and THE TRUMAN SHOW, albeit repackaged in a fun zany mix all of its own.
Ryan Reynolds is typically superb as a guy named Guy who lives a mediocre banal life in Free City. Except what's pretty obvious to us, but not to him, is that he's a Non Playable Character in a computer game, whose only job is to be in the background as real life kids rob banks and smoke strangers in a Grand Theft Auto style shoot-em-up game. The twist is that his AI character comes to consciousness when he meets Jodie Comer's player, because some old code had pre-programmed him to search for love. Somehow, Guy manages to steal a real player's powers and realises that a) he's in a game and b) he has agency! But unlike fucked up real world people, he decides to play as the good guy, rather than as a criminal, levelling up with breakneck speed and attracting a real world following of fans who just can't get enough of "blue shirt guy".
Meanwhile back in the real world, the true baddie turns about to be Taika Waititi's pretentious egotistical video game developer Antwon, who I read as based on the decades old British satirical show NATHAN BARLEY. Turns out Antwon bilked Jodie Comer's character out of some of her original code, as well as her best friend Keys (Joe Keery) and now they have to team up with Guy to stop him.
The resulting film is full of fun and imagination and I loved how it not to subtly criticised the way in which real world people play video games to indulge their worst imagined vices. What does it say about us that the nicest and kindest character in the film is an AI?! I also loved the way the ending respected the bounds of the concept that had been set up and gave all the main characters an ending that actually seemed fulfilling. So kudos to all involved, not least director Shawn Levy (STANGER THINGS) and writers Matt Lieberman (SCOOB!) and Zak Penn (READY PLAYER ONE).
FREE GUY is rated PG-13 and has a running time of 115 minutes. The film played Locarno 2021 and was released on Netflix earlier this year.
Sunday, March 14, 2021
GREENLAND
GREENLAND was released in some countries last summer in cinemas but in the USA on streaming services last December and in the UK this February. The film has a rating of PG-13 and a running time of 119 minutes.
Sunday, January 12, 2020
1917
World War One films are typically set in the muddy, fetid horror of the trenches - a dark and dank world of rat-infested boredom with the occasional "relief" of going over the top into barbed wire, decomposing horses and machine-gun fire. The typical theme is one of madness - both personal and of the entire enterprise. And the style is static. The war doesn't move. In the words of the inimitable Blackadder: "Field Marshal Haig is about to make yet another gargantuan effort to move his drinks cabinet six inches closer to Berlin." Films of this type reach their apotheosis in JOURNEY'S END.
The innovation of Sam Mendes' new film is to set it in the final phase of the war, when the German's had retreated back to the Hindenburg Line, leaving miles of French countryside, previously so viciously fought over, empty. Of course, the Line was itself heavily fortified, and this sets up the plot of 1917. Two young soldiers are selected by a general (Colin Firth) to get an urgent message to the new front line. The next morning, British forces will launch an offensive that will be a massacre: their commanders don't know about the fortifications. So these two lads have to cross No Man's Land, pass through the old German trench, get to a now destroyed French town, and down to the woods to the new Line.
What this plot does is give us high stakes and fixed timeline, as well as - crucially - a dynamic style. The entire film is a two hour journey against the clock, largely on foot. And the emotional stakes are made even higher because of the boys, so carefully selected for the trip, has to save his own beloved elder brother, who is part of the new attack. To give the movie an immersive and intensive feel, the director has worked with his DP, Roger Deakins (COEN BROS PASSIM) to make us feel as though we are with the boys every step of the way. We never move away from their gaze - we experience the film as they experience the journey - in a simulated single-take movie. The result is absolutely impressive and emotionally involving. But it doesn't feel like cinema in a way - more like playing Red Dead Redemption or Call of Duty, World War One edition. That's fine - it just goes to show how influential video game style is in modern cinema.
There's much to love in Sam Mendes script (his first). By taking us over No Man's Land, and then into the French countryside behind it, he shows us the contrast between the rural paradise before the war and the bombed out nightmare after it. He takes care to show us the better quality of the German trenches compared to the British ones. And he doesn't shy away from showing us the devastation of the German razed earth policy - cities destroyed, livestock shot, a land made unfit for humans. We also see the change in landscape, from the mud of the old line to the chalk of the new line. It makes for an impressive visual contrast.
His casting is also superb. Mendes even took care over the extras to show us that the war took really young men and made them weary and traumatised. we see it in the faces of the men - in particular at a choral scene in a wood that's deeply moving. In the speaking roles there are some misfires. Colin Firth is a bit pastiche as the noble, stiff-upper-lip British general who sets the film in motion, and Mark Strong's commander is similarly one-note - compassionate weariness. But I really loved Andrew Scott (FLEABAG) ias a cynical but actually helpful front-line officer. And the way in which Mendes overturns our view of Benedict Cumberbatch's front line commander in a very brief cameo is masterful. We start off thinking he's a gung-ho martial nut job but he's humanised very quickly. However, it's GAME OF THRONES' Richard Madden who gets the best of the cameos - with a deeply moving performance all the more affecting because of the character's need not to fall apart. This is quite probably his best acting performance to date. In the lead roles, I rather like GAME OF THRONES' Tommen (Dean-Charles Chapman) as the soldier trying to save his big brother, even if his accent does rather veer from cockney to posh and back again. It's George Mackay as his companion who really steals the show and epitomises that combination of youth and weariness I spoke of earlier.
The result is a film that's technically impressive and deeply moving and largely well written and acted. It is, however, not without its flaws. First, there's a mid-film scene involving milk that jumps the shark in terms of schmaltz for me. Second, there's a moment involving the Mark Strong character that had me almost yelling at the screen as to why he didn't do more practically to help. And finally, while Mendes is to be applauded for showing the contribution of Imperial troops to the Western Front war effort (in sharp contrast to Nolan's DUNKIRK) he seems quite uninterested in showing the Germans as anything other than barbaric shits.
1917 is rated R and has a running time and has a running time of 119 minutes. The film is on global release.
Sunday, May 05, 2019
PACIFIC RIM: UPRISING
ANT-MAN AND THE WASP
What then follows is a movie that self-consciously tries to tug on our heart strings. Isn't Paul Rudd cute playing a hands-on father?! Isn't it so adorable how he co-parents with his lovely ex (Judy Greer) and her huggable hubby (Bobby Canavale)?! Isn't it cute how Michael Douglas' scientist joshes his daughter and Antman about getting together. Isn't it entirely predictable that Laurence Fishburne's evil villain scientist is actually rather decent and that magic-mum is gonna cure the vengeful baddie who isn't gonna be that bad after all?
In other words, this is a really banal anodyne film, film of try-hard goofy humour and self-conscious feel-good vibes. The action sequences are predictably CGI driven, dull and silly. That said, Paul Rudd is funny doing his Paul Rudd thing and Michael Pena as his side-kick is funny too. Just not enough to justify a two-hour run-time.
Thursday, February 07, 2019
ROBIN HOOD (2018)
Otto Bathurst's remake of the Robin Hood myth is a dismal effort. His directorial style is sub Guy Ritchie - all mockney bovver without any of Ritchie's kinetic energy or wit. The resulting film is a CGI heavy mess, full of dull action scenes and bad performances acting out a worse script. Lead actor Taron Egerton has none of the charm or glee of his KINGSMAN role playing "Rob". Eve Hewson is very pretty as his working class girlfriend Marion, but she has to also play a woman who thinks her boyfriend died in the crusades, only to find him inconveniently alive while she's shacked up with Jamie Dornan's Will Scarlett. Neither she nor the script betray the requisite emotional depth or range to pull off that storyline. And WTF is Dornan doing here? Recent turns on UK TV show he's actually a very good actor. He's definitely playing well below himself here. The same can be said of Ben Mendelsohn doing that evil villain thing he's done countless times before, not least in ROGUE ONE. He looks bored doing it, so it's no surprise we're bored seeing it. As for F Murray Abraham - magisterial in AMADEUS - he's utterly anonymous here. Avoid at all costs.