Thursday, July 27, 2006

ANGEL-A - utter tosh

I sent an Englishman, an Austrian and a Swede to report on the new Luc Besson flick, ANGEL-A. I called the Swede this morning and here is a summary of the conversation.

Bina007: So how was the movie?

Swedish Philip (laughing maniacally): Utter bloody tosh! The Danish girl was quite good looking. But as I said to Georg, just having a slutty-looking blonde is not enough to save a movie, Still, she was pretty-looking. It would have been better not to have subtitles because then we would only have understood 50% of the lines because our French isn't that good. Oh my fucking word! - the lines in it - seriously! It's like the guy says to her "you don't have a past, but let me guide you into the future." Maybe it's not the lines. Maybe it's the translater was just wacked out producing this bollocks translation.....Is the message coming across?

Bina007: At least you didn't have to pay to see it.

Swedish Philip: But I felt embarassed because Georg still had to pay to see it.

Bina007: True. I'm sorry about that. How did Movie Tom find it?

Swedish Philip: He decided not to go. I got this phone call at 5pm and he said he had done some research on the film and decided not to go, and as I was watching the movie I thought "Tom, you had a point!" But seriously, the movie was beautifully shot - all in black and white - and I really liked the first ten minutes. Up until the point where she said, "I'm an angel". Then it was utter tosh. But, it almost got me back into the tall blondes - into the whole Nordic look - but not quite. I think I'll stick to my R.I.A.C.s*

So there you have it folks. ANGEL-A is utter tosh. But if you still want to see it I should add that it is the latest film from Luc Besson, the guy who directed NIKITA, LEON and THE FIFTH ELEMENT and other movies starring Milla Jovovich. In fact he used to be married to her so he obviously has a thing for leggy models falling for less attractive guys. His films seem to be on a downward trend. In this movie, Jamel Debbouze (who starred in AMELIE) plays a loser who is about to throw himself off a bridge into the Seine. He is rescued by the tall blonde who sorts out his life. She is an angel, geddit?! That's it. And it's shot in black and white so it must be art. Plus it's only 88 minutes long so even if it sucks it's over quickly.

ANGEL-A was released in France last December and has since opened throughout Europe and in Japan. It opens in the UK tomorrow and in the US on September 29th 2006. *Random Inter-Changeable Asian Chick.


  1. Thanks for the warning, but I'll probably take a chance on this one when it finally opens in the U.S., if only for the name Besson

  2. @Reel Fanatic. Perhaps you can let us know what you think when you see it?!