FANTASTIC FOUR: FIRST STEPS*

Bored as fuck watching FANTASTIC FOUR: FIRST STEPS. No humour, no grand emotional revelations, no chemistry between the leads, hackneyed action scenes and scoring, unclear why it's in a retro-Jetsons world, wondering if it would have more fun to just watch reruns of The Jetsons.

In this reimagining of the unloved ginger stepchild of the Marvel universe, the ubiquitous Pedro Pascal (enough already!) plays astronaut turned mutant Reed Richards and The Crown's Princess Margaret, Vanessa Kirby, plays his fellow astronaut turned mutant and pregnant wife Sue Storm.  GLADIATOR 2's Joseph Quinn plays Sue's brother Johnny and the quartet is rounded out by The Bear's Ebon Moss-Bachrach as the poor fucker who spends the film playing a rock-like thing called... The Thing.  

As the film opens, earth is under attack from a generic Big Bad with an emissary called the Silver Surfer (Julia Garner). The screenwriters try to have some IRON MAN style witty fun with Johnny asking her if the surfboard is part of her body. It lands flat. The plot revolves around the Big Bad wanting the astro-human baby because Power, and the astro-human baby's mum being understandably reluctant to give him up.  But I never really felt the stakes.  The family are so popular it's not like the humans are coming with pitchforks to steal the baby.  I never felt like the baby was at risk. I never felt like the mum was at risk. Rumble rumble, the end.

What a waste of on-screen talent. Especially Natasha Lyonne.  Director Matt Shakman (Wandavision): do better.  I think it's interesting that there are seven accredited screenwriters on this film, although to be fair that includes its comic-book creators. Maybe that speaks to its lack of forward momentum, clear linear narrative and muddiness. I also wonder whether with a concept so brilliantly deconstructed, parodied, but ultimately enhanced with THE INCREDIBLES, cinema-viewers have just moved beyond the source material.

FANTASTIC FOUR: FIRST STEPS is available to screen on Disney+. It has a running time of 115 minutes and is rated PG-13.

NO HARD FEELINGS*

 

NO HARD FEELINGS is a desperately ill-judged "comedy" in which Jennifer Lawrence attempts to be Amy Schumer and fails. It pains me that such a talented dramatic actress should waste her time trying to be something she is not - because she is not kooky or adept at physical or verbal comedy.  She stars in this film as a thirty-something commitment-phobe who is about to lose her family home.  Desperate, she answers a Craigslist ad to basically deflower a shy, much-bullied kid before he goes to College. Cue lots of awkward and unwatchable scenes where J-Law throws herself at the petrified teen who rightly deploys pepper spray.  He actually is a sweet kid, and as played by the talented Andrew Barth Feldman, is the only thing hooking us into the heart of the movie. Ultimately, naturally, both of them grow through the experience.  She realises she needs to grow up and leave home.  He realises he needs to do the same. They end up as friends.  But what happens within the running time of the movie is just bizarre. I am not saying that a weird age-gap film can't work.  Just look at HAROLD & MAUDE. But J Law doing a nude comedy fight scene just wreaks of desperation.  Avoid at all costs.

NO HARD FEELINGS is rated R and has a running time of 103 minutes. It is available to rent and own.

WEDDING DAZE - stealth comedy

There's something about WEDDING DAZE that defies the ludicrous premise. The idea is that a grieving fiance, prompted by his best friend's pleas to start dating again, asks the next girl he meets to marry him. Ridiculously, she says yes. And so they set off for a wedding chapel in Atlantic City with some kooky best friends, a jailbird dad and some cops in tow. Jason Biggs and Isla Fisher are just so darned likeable as the goofy lovers that you can't help rooting for them. Michael Weston and Ebon Moss-Bachrach are so quietly funny as their respective best friends that you can't help chuckling. In fairness, the whole Jewish toy gag and Joe Pantoliano/jailbird storyline left me cold. But what's not to like about Edward Herrmann and Margot Martindale playing Biggs' sexually voracious parents?

I'm not pretending that I laughed myself silly, but anything that makes you smile at the end and chuckle more than a couple of times has its merits.

WEDDING DAZE aka THE PLEASURE OF YOUR COMPANY played Toronto 2006. It opens in the UK on June 1st, in the US on September 17th, in Belgium on September 19th and in the Netherlands on September 20th.