FANTASTIC FOUR: FIRST STEPS*

Bored as fuck watching FANTASTIC FOUR: FIRST STEPS. No humour, no grand emotional revelations, no chemistry between the leads, hackneyed action scenes and scoring, unclear why it's in a retro-Jetsons world, wondering if it would have more fun to just watch reruns of The Jetsons.

In this reimagining of the unloved ginger stepchild of the Marvel universe, the ubiquitous Pedro Pascal (enough already!) plays astronaut turned mutant Reed Richards and The Crown's Princess Margaret, Vanessa Kirby, plays his fellow astronaut turned mutant and pregnant wife Sue Storm.  GLADIATOR 2's Joseph Quinn plays Sue's brother Johnny and the quartet is rounded out by The Bear's Ebon Moss-Bachrach as the poor fucker who spends the film playing a rock-like thing called... The Thing.  

As the film opens, earth is under attack from a generic Big Bad with an emissary called the Silver Surfer (Julia Garner). The screenwriters try to have some IRON MAN style witty fun with Johnny asking her if the surfboard is part of her body. It lands flat. The plot revolves around the Big Bad wanting the astro-human baby because Power, and the astro-human baby's mum being understandably reluctant to give him up.  But I never really felt the stakes.  The family are so popular it's not like the humans are coming with pitchforks to steal the baby.  I never felt like the baby was at risk. I never felt like the mum was at risk. Rumble rumble, the end.

What a waste of on-screen talent. Especially Natasha Lyonne.  Director Matt Shakman (Wandavision): do better.  I think it's interesting that there are seven accredited screenwriters on this film, although to be fair that includes its comic-book creators. Maybe that speaks to its lack of forward momentum, clear linear narrative and muddiness. I also wonder whether with a concept so brilliantly deconstructed, parodied, but ultimately enhanced with THE INCREDIBLES, cinema-viewers have just moved beyond the source material.

FANTASTIC FOUR: FIRST STEPS is available to screen on Disney+. It has a running time of 115 minutes and is rated PG-13.

UNCUT GEMS

UNCUT GEMS is perhaps the most unique and certainly one of the best films of 2019 - a surreal, 80s-vibe, darkly comic thriller, in which against all probability I became insanely invested in the largely self-inflicted travails of its hero Howard.  As played by Adam Sandler in a role reminiscent of his angry-loveable PUNCH DRUNK LOVE intensity, Howard has a life of unremitting stress. He's broken up from his wife (Idina Menzel) but still enmeshed in Jewish family dinners.  He's set up his mistress in a city apartment.  His diamond business is doing well thanks to the big music and sports buyers his middle-man (Lakeith Stanfield) brings in, and he's just been smuggled a super-valuable rock containing uncut gems. The problem is that Howard also has a massive gambling problem, and spends the entirety of the film's running time trying to fence the gems to pay the debt.  Oh yeah, and did I mention he finances his ever more gargantuan bets with mob loans?  

I was initially reluctant to watch this film because I'd heard such extreme reactions at the London Film Festival. People said it was nerve-wracking and intense - like having Adam Sandler just shout at you for two hours.  But I was pleasantly surprised at how funny the film was, and how the directors really did give the audience a chance to pause and recalibrate every once in a while - usually in a quieter family scene.  But the final act really is super-tense, and just phenomenally well crafted and I was literally on the edge of my seat. I was hugely invested in whether Howard would come through, despite his stupidity, because at the end of the day, the poor idiot is an addict, and actually he's not an idiot - there's something really impressive about his ability to keep spinning stories to keep his debtors at bay.  This is Sandler's best performance since PUNCH DRUNK and I was with him every step of the way. It's hard to think of anyone else carrying off this performance.

Phenomenal performance apart, everything about the production and costume design, the cinematography and the use of music is superb. Darius Khondji gives us  images that are at times gritty and urban-realist and at times claustrophobic and surreal and at times neon-lit 80s music video.  It's like being in a film that's at once recognisably the diamond district and at once something almost fairy-tale like.  Most of all, the Safdie Brothers have a confidence with tonal shifts that take us from casinos to auction houses and back again. This film is a tour de force and deserves to be seen. It also deserves far more awards love than it has been given.  

UNCUT GEMS is rated R and has a running time of 135 minutes.  The film played Telluride, Toronto and London 2019 and is now available to stream on Netflix. 

SLEEPING WITH OTHER PEOPLE

SLEEPING WITH OTHER PEOPLE is a romantic comedy from first time director Leslye Headland. She also wrote the piss-poor rom-com ABOUT LAST NIGHT but seems to have done far better when not shackled with the pressure of adapting David Mamet. That said, this movie definitely drinks deep from the well of WHEN HARRY MET SALLY and has all the basic cultural conservatism of all those so-called transgressive Judd Apatow comedies that basically end up with the romantic leads, well, getting together in wedded bliss.