RED, WHITE & ROYAL BLUE***

RED, WHITE & ROYAL BLUE is a Bridgerton-adjacent piece of mildly entertaining rom-com fluff that satisfies our need for cheesy romantic dramas where love triumphs over bigotry, everyone looks pretty, and sex scenes are steamy but still reassuringly safe. I gave it an extra point for including a sensible conversation about safe gay sex and for featuring an inter-racial gay couple because representation matters.

The unreasonably pretty (but apparently not gay - how do we feel about that?) Nicholas Galitzine stars as a closeted gay British royal prince who falls for the Latine bisexual son of the US President (Taylor Zakhar Perez).  Naturally they start out hating each other but that soon changes as they are forced to spend time with each other as their countries negotiate a trade deal.  The POTUS is amusingly played by Uma Thurman with an insane southern accent, and her husband by Clifton Collins Jr - where has he been? They are super supportive of their son and his political ambitions.  This stands in sharp contrast to the homophobic British King, amusingly played by the real-life gay Stephen Fry. In both cases I find that the movie glosses over the political and social backlash each family would face. But I guess that's not what this film really is.

At any rate, this really is not a work of art, but it is fun enough and important. Kudos to Tony award winning playwright and debut feature director Matthew Lopez for getting this on screen.

RED, WHITE & ROYAL BLUE is rated R and has a running time of 118 minutes. It was released last weekend on Amazon Prime Video.

BURNT

Director John Wells (AUGUST: OSAGE COUNTY) returns to our screens with a slight and predictable romantic drama that had the capability to be so much more. BURNT stars Bradley Cooper as a michelin star chef called Adam who is a recovering addict.  He returns after a two year hiatus to open a new restaurant to prove all the critics wrong, win a third star, and poke two fingers in the eye of his rival Reece (Matthew Rhys).  On one hand, this movie wants to be a light romantic drama about a difficult person finding love and emotional balance. So naturally when Adam meets a feisty chef called Helene (Sienna Miller) and they have a massive ding-dong battle, we know they are going to end up falling in love. She even has a super-cute kid with which Adam can bond.  And when the first act of the movie sets up Adam as a dinosaur who refuses to cook sous-vide, we assume she's also going to give him a water-bath and some plastic bags and lead him joyously into the food revolution to wow the critics.  

But then the movie thinks about taking a slightly different turn into a much more complicated and fascinating world and we think - yes - this is why Brad Cooper has agreed to do what seems on the surface like quite schlocky fare.  We realise that within his kitchen he's dealing with the consequences of his addiction - the colleagues he hurt and the maitre d' he'd let down. And throughout the film we have the shadowy French figures who are after him from drug debts.  We see him struggle with his addiction and think, finally some meat for Cooper to sink his teeth into. But in the end it's too late in the final twenty minutes of the run-time to drag the film back into profundity and it wants its perfect romantic ending too badly. This is a tremendous shame, and a waste of a supporting cast that includes Emma Thompson, Alicia Vikander, Omar Sy and Daniel Bruehl.

BURNT is rated R and has a running time of 101 minutes.  The movie is on release in the USA, Turkey, Greece, Hungary, Israel, Macedonia, Portugal, Bulgaria, Iceland, Poland, Kuwait, Serbia, Singapore, Canada, Turkey, France, the Philippines, South Korea, the UK, Ireland and Sweden. It opens on November 12th in Russia and Estonia; on November 20th in Lithuania and Norway; on November 26th in Italy and the Netherlands; on December 3rd in Germany and Finland; on December 10th in Brazil, Denmark, Hong Kong; on January 21st in Chile; and on January 28th in Argentina and Thailand. 

BEL AMI - corruption and decadence in fin-de-siecle Paris

Declan Donnellan and Nick Ormerod, better known as theatre company Cheek by Jowl, have brought a gorgeous new adaptation Guy de Maupassant novel, BEL AMI to the big screen. Rachel Bennette's adaptation is faithful to the spiky, scabrous, but ultimately tragic tale of a a young man's corrupt rise to power in decadent, politically slippery late nineteenth century Paris.  The result is a film that begins as a beautifully costumed frothy, sexy, jaunt but slowly and satisfyingly develops into a much darker, deeper film.  I thoroughly enjoyed it - luxuriating in Odile Dicks-Mireaux's wonderful costumes and Stefano Falivene's cinematography.   But most of all, I enjoyed the quality of the ensemble cast.  Robert Pattinson is genuinely impressive and charismatic as social-climbing, narcissistic, capricious George Duroy, an ex-soldier who arrives in Paris without a penny and shamelessly uses his contacts, and their wives sexual frustration, to his advantage.  (It is a far more credible transition to post-franchise adult drama than Daniel Radcliffe achieved.)  But the real fun comes with the three women who Duroy exploits. The first is pretty little housewife Clotilde, played with infinite vulnerability and subtlety by Christina Ricci in heart-breaking performance.  The second is Kristin Scott Thomas' pious, pathetic Virginie, wife of Colm Meaney's newspaper editor.  It is rare to see Scott Thomas look undone by love, as opposed to her characteristic froideur and supreme control, but she is completely convincing.  And finally, there is Uma Thurman as the beautiful, brilliant Madeleine Forrestier - in what is surely a career-best performance. Thurman is simply maginificent.  She perfectly articulates the constrictions placed on an intelligent political woman in an era when she had to exercise her influence through men.  The resulting film, and tragedy, is as much Madeleine's as Georges', and I would love to see Thurman offered more roles like this.

BEL AMI played German 2012 and is on release in the UK, Portugal, Belgium, Lithuania, Ireland and the UK. It opens on the 22nd March in the Czech Republic, it opens on 29th March in Russia, Singapore and Estonia, on 5th April in the Netherlands, on 13th April in Italy, on 26th April in Germany, on 24th May in Australia, on 8th June in the USA, on 27th June in France and on 18th October in Argentina.

PERCY JACKSON AND THE LIGHTNING THIEF - also not entirely unwatchable

Another movie that’s easy to deride is PERCY JACKSON AND THE LIGHTNING THIEF. The similarity of the source material and the fact that it shares the same director as the first two HARRY POTTER films have led many reviewers to call it “Harry Potter lite” or a Harry Potter rip-off. Certainly, you can see their argument. Percy Jackson is a boy who is “special” and that being “special” relates to his now absent father. His being special leads him to a special school where he will learn to use his secret powers, and to make two friends – a loyal but doltish boy and a much more clued-on girl. They will ultimately have to contend with another student who has conflicting loyalties, and to go on a quest for high stakes. They will be guided by a wise old teacher and their adventures will take place both in a magical realm and in our real world. The only difference is that Harry Potter is a wizard and Percy Jackson is the son of the Greek god Perseus, and is thus a demi-God. And rather than battling Voldemort, he is battling to restore to Zeus his bolt of lightning in order to prevent a war between Zeus and Hades. There are even similarities in the production design, largely because of the journeyman-like-quality of all Chris Columbus movies. He’s the go-to-guy if you want a movie to come in on time, on budget, to have some serviceable special effects and not do anything too crazy.

The resulting film is just fine. It’s not the sort of kids film that adults should go and see unless they are accompanying a small child, but I’m betting good money that any kid, bored in the school holidays, will have a good time watching this film.

PERCY JACKSON & THE LIGHTNING THIEF is on global release.

THE ACCIDENTAL HUSBAND - meh

Patrick is dumped by Sophia on the advice of super-rational talk-radio love doctor Emily. So Patrick hacks the marriage license database so it looks like Emily's already married to him, throwing a spanner in the works of her marriage to perfect gentleman Richard. Emily spends time with Patrick in the process of obtaining an annulment. Guess what happens next!

This romantic-comedy slips by merrily enough for the first half hour because Uma Thurman (Emily) and Jeffrey Dean Morgan (Patrick) are charming. Patrick's Indian neighbours also have some fine comedy moments. But as the novelty of the odd-couple pairing wears off the mechanics of the plot become tedious in the extreme. All this will-she won't-she crap is a waste of time.

I also found myself mildly irritated that a lot of rom-coms start off with a high-functioning rational woman and then take a malicious pleasure in watching her life get messed up by a child-like bloke who she should ultimately take pity on. Dumbing down to his level will make her life complete! It's the same old story in KNOCKED UP and, to a lesser extent, in JUNO. Enough already. I can also detect a worrying and cynical trend in post 9-11 Hollywood to make characters they want us to think are decent, warm-hearted guys New York fire-fighters.

THE ACCIDENTAL HUSBAND is on release in the UK. It opens in France on April 2nd; in Brazil on April 11th; in the USA on August 15th and in the Netherlands on August 28th.

MY SUPER EX-GIRLFRIEND - weak rom-com

MY SUPER EX-GIRLFRIEND is a flaccid romantic comedy starring Luke Wilson and Uma Thurman. I say flaccid because it's not really that funny, but it is quite sweet and would serve as a mindless Friday night date movie. The deal is that Luke Wilson plays a nice, if slightly nerdy, architect who picks up a nerdy looking chick (Thurman) on the tube. It turns out that she's actually wild in bed and, more to the point, a super-hero called G-GIRL. (No ribald sub-text there, then!) Problems arise when the nice guy dumps the neurotic super-hero and she turns into a bunny-(well, goldfish)boiler. But, as the genre requires, it all ends up with everyone happy and loved up in their gorgeous designer apartments. In other words, this is a movie for those kind of dates wherein what is happening on screen is not of primary concern.....One final thing to mention is that a lot of the marketing for this movie focuses on the fact that it is directed by the man who gave us the seminal 80s comedy classic, GHOSTBUSTERS. This is a misleading signal.

MY SUPER EX-GIRLFRIEND is already on release in Australia, Puerto Rico, the US and UK. It opens in France and Singapore on August 9th 2006; Argentina on August 17th and Egypt on August 30th. The movie opens in Estonia on September 1st; Greece and Portugal on September 14th; Belgium, Hungary and Finland on September 22nd and in the Netherlands on September 28th. It finally rolls into Germany on October 5th and Spain on October 20th.

PRIME - fairly funny but ultimately forgettable romantic-comedy-drama-whatever

This review is posted by guest reviewer, Katya, who can normally be found here:

In a nutshell: David is 23 and Jewish. Rafi is 37, and not. They meet, they like, they get jiggy. Meanwhile, unbeknownst to all, Rafi’s psychotherapist is none other than David’s mum. Prime lasts an hour and three quarters, and it has enough to keep you entertained for the duration. Uma Thurman and Bryan Greenberg are both perfectly competent in the rôles of their respective characters, and, as is to be expected, Meryl Streep excels. Dialogue makes up much of the film– and in most cases, the viewer finds themselves genuinely interested in how each conversation is going to turn out. There are also a fair few moments of real humour – albeit of the “smiling wryly” variety, rather than the “falling off your seat” variety.

But all in all, this film disappoints, and feels empty and ultimately unsatisfying. It’s like a bag of popcorn when you wanted a steak, or at the very least a cheeseburger. First of all, while the acting is all quite adequate, the two main protagonists seem frankly thin and two-dimensional – while we may watch their individual interactions with curiosity, we find that we do not, in the end, much empathize with them, or care what happens to their lives. While both profess love and passion, I found myself utterly unable to believe it – there was no sense of the reality of those feelings for me – and when things went predictably pear-shaped, I was unable to stir up anything bar equanimity, if not outright apathy.

Far more interesting are the emotional and ethical ambiguities of Meryl Streep’s character – the inconsistencies and the double-standards which, as the film progresses, she begins to confront at least partially. Which rôle is closest to reflecting her true human values – therapist or mother? When does “help” slide into manipulation? How much do labels matter? None of this gets resolved, of course, and the movie hardly qualifies as any sort of profound exploration of the issues – but at least here we have a character that seems more than paper-thin.

In summary, this film fails any way you cut it: as a comedy, a love story, a tragedy, or a treatise on the human condition. You won’t be gnawing your own arm off to stave off the boredom, but you may be left with a hollow feeling that later crystallizes into a wish you’d spent your money elsewhere.

And a few words from Bina007: PRIME features Uma Thurman (most recently Ulla in the remake of The Producers) as Raffi – a thirty-seven year-old recent divorcee. Raffi has the kind of life we see depicted in a certain kind of Woody Allen movie, or perhaps an episode of Sex and the City. She lives in a Manhattan where everyone is beautiful, works in fashion or the arts and has a fantastic apartment decorated with Rothko prints. But, again with the Woody Allen, she has never been happy. Her Upper East-side shrink recommends that she throw herself into life, even if that means dating a hot 23-year old wannabe artist – a relationship that clearly cannot go anywhere. Of course, this being a movie, the endearingly sweet* 23-year old turns out to be the therapist’s son. Which of course would be fine if the shrink applied the same “embrace life” attitude to her own family. But instead, the Meryl Streep character is not only horrified that her son is dating a much-older woman, but also that he is dating a non-Jew. So, there’s the set-up and the movie unravels in a fairly predictable manner. People have witty conversations while walking through perfectly lit streets in the Village or have dinner over Allen-esque noisy Jewish dinner tables. In an act of homage, they even meet in queues outside old playhouses (NOT cineplexes) showing difficult post-war Italian movies. None of this is a critique, of course. You can commit worse cinematic crimes that simply re-interpreting cinematic greats, but by the time we ended with the Annie-Hall-style montage of “best of” moments from Raffi and Dave’s relationship I thought the writer/director was digging a comparative hole for himself. This is because while PRIME is a perfectly harmless, often very funny movie it is never completely engrossing. And it certainly is not a Great Film, whatever that may be. The friend I went to see it with said that it was a signal that the movie had failed that she wasn’t more moved by the ending. I think that sums up the movie for me. Go see PRIME for Meryl Streep hamming it up. Go see it for the best-friend of the “hero” throwing cream pies in the faces of girls who have dumped him. Go see it for the grandma bashing her head with a skillet. Just don’t expect to remember much about it the next day.

PRIME has been on release pretty much everywhere but finally hits the UK on Friday.*If you want to see how sweet slide your cursor over the picture to read a quotation from the movie.

The Producers - Ulla dance now!

(posted by guest reviewer, Nik)

I was naturally skeptical. How could the modern version of The Producers simultaneously live up to the critical acclaim of 1968 Mel Brookes original as well as being faithfully in keeping with its subsequent Broadway adaptation? Moreover, could Nathan Lane and Matthew Broderick match the exceptionally high standards of Mostel and Wilder as a pair of social inadequates and misfits - unwittingly and incompetently making the best bad play in history?

Happily, the answer is "yes" on all counts. Broderick and Lane develop a wonderful on screen chemistry from the very start - Broderick is totally convincing as the bumbling accountant looking naively to the lights of Broadway (and manages to be sufficiently distinctive from the Wilder depiction not to draw unwanted comparisons) - Lane eases in the part of the smoozy Max Bialystock, corrupting Bloom, lusting after Ulla, and boning various and sundry octogenarians. Moreover, the film is absolutely true to its roots, maintaining the overt homoerotic love story between the two male leads - as well as the total campness throughout.

The supporting cast is good too - Uma Thurman especially plays an excellent all singing, all dancing, all parts jiggling Ulla - Swedish and brazen in her "If you've got it, flaunt it" role. Gary Beach plays a convincingly gay Roger de Bris, and an excellent Hitler - and Will Ferrell acts within himself but perfectly adequately as flagrant homosexualist Nazi Franz Liebkind. Whereas the film cannot take credit for the score, which was developed for Broadway, it is all well performed and befits the adaptation.

Ironically though, the best and funniest scene and song of the film remains from the original - Springtime for Hitler (and Germany). I remember watching the Brookes version for the first time at 15 years old and tears streaming down my face at dancing Swastikas and prancing SS-guards - it would have been a real let down if the modern version didn't do this scene justice. Fortunately, Stroman goes to town, unleashing a lavish, bright and wonderfully shot stage scene that is true to the original but nevertheless full of modern touches, and brought to life by the charms of Beach as Ze Fuhrer! It made me laugh, that's the main thing.

Finally, the interplay between Ulla and Bloom is interesting, especially given their discordant physical size, and adds to the sense that the real lovers in this play, the true couple, happily reunited at the end, are Bloom and Bialystock.

Don't get me wrong now, this film doesn't replace or supplant the original, nor indeed should it discourage us from visiting the Broadway show. Rather it compliments both, and brings the joy of the big stage to a worldwide audience. I even managed to enjoy it sitting next to a couple of loud, annoying American girls who insisted, despite my protestations, on a running commentary.

Buy your chocolate raisins, stock up on your popcorn, visit the toilet beforehand, take front row seats, and enjoy!

THE PRODUCERS is on general release in the UK and US. It goes on release in Austria on the 24th February, in France on the 8th March and in Germany on the 16th March 2006