Friday, August 04, 2006

MIAMI VICE moved so slow it grew moss

I have to confess that I never saw a single episode of smash-hit TV series of MIAMI VICE back in the '80s. So to me, it will always be something to be parodied - those blond high-lights, white jackets with the sleeves rolled up - just a pop-culture reference from Adam Sandler's THE WEDDING SINGER. My lack of familiarity with the TV series may, however be an advantage in viewing the new movie, because a lot of fans have complained that aside from the names of the characters, not much is the same. Perhaps they were expecting a more cheesy Bad Boys style gag-fest.

What they get is a dark crime thriller with a great cast (Jamie Foxx and Colin Farrell) and director. Michael Mann is the guy who directed MANHUNTER, ALI, THE INSIDER and perhaps most famously, HEAT. Even the minor characters are played by some of the finest character actors around: not least
Ciaran Hinds and Naomie Harris. And let's not forget that this movie is photographed by Dion Beebe - a truly great cinematographer - who also shot the lush MEMOIRS OF A GEISHA and Michael Mann's outstanding feature, COLLATERAL.

Am I boring you yet? The key point is that this movie has pedigree. Why then did I find my mind wandering during the screening? The thing is that the movie is very very long and moves at a very very slow pace. The plot is interesting, I guess. The acting is good. The script is intelligent and I can over-look the odd cheesy line. The action sequences are tense, the violence is high-impact and there are plenty of money-shots of fast cars and speedboats, But ye gods, MIAMI VICE moves slow. Humbly, I have the solution. The screenwriter could have axed the whole Isabella/Gong Li plot-line and saved the audience an hour of time and the more absurd plot contrivances. Seriously, am I really meant to believe that a hard-headed businesswoman is going to fall for Crockett's sly salsa moves?! My only other gripe is that the movie is shot on hi-def video and looks really grainy and washed out. In particular, check out a scene around 15 minutes in when Crockett and Tubbs are driving in their car at night and are called in by their chief. It looks like a worn out old VHS cassette.

Overall, MIAMI VICE is a mediocre thriller with above-average action shots but presented in a grainy print. For this reason, and so you can fast forward through the dull "let's-go-to-Cuba" sequence, it's probably one to rent on DVD.

MIAMI VICE is already on release in such disparate places as Puerto Rica, Thailand, the US, Canada, Uruguay, the Philippines, Israel, Portugal and Russia. It opens today in the UK and Mexico. In opens in Australia, Finland, Iceland, Norway and Sweden on August 11th and in Belgium, France, Argentina, the Czech Rep., the Netherlands, South Korea and Estonia on the 17th. It opens in Egypt, Germany, Hungary, Brazil and Poland on the 25th August. It opens in Spain and Turkey on September 8th, Venezuals on September 15th, Japan on the 23rd, Greece on the 28th and finally in Italy on October 8th.


  1. "The acting is good. The script is intelligent and I can over-look the odd cheesy line"

    Were we watching the same movie? The acting was wooden, Gong-li realised her gift of acting in the last 10 minutes and it had an inane script (most of the dialogue was acronyms like DEA FBI CIA DRIPPY QWERTY...)

    It was a godamn student movie. It was so bad I wanted to cry.

  2. this movie sucked. It felt like a big screen episode of cops.
    i can't belive they went for the lame will she or won't she live crap at the end with that black FBI lady
    I felt sorry for the guy with the beard, I was wondering what happened to him after CARLITO'S WAY....( he got it in the first reel at the Pool Hall)

    anyway GONG Lee looked like she was old enough to be Collin's mom. She looked so tired and bored. Collin needed a bath big time...

    they spent 120 million on this thing, and its all on high def, SOMEONE got paid!


    it went from bad to worse:


    POSEIDEN: If ever a movie needed SHLLLEY WINTERS this was it.

    SCOOP: I love woody but this thing felt like what it must feel like to spend an afternoon with actors in need of a script, ahhh kill me already

    LADY IN the TOILET: nuff said


    TALLAGEEDA NIGHTS: like being stuck in a trailer park with no hope of escape.

    SUPERMAN: SUPERDUH been there done that, and KAL PENN was in it WHY?

    PIRATES: FELT like waiting in line for the ride to start but not having one of those smart speed passes to jump ahead to the good stuff:

    only MARTIN SCORSESE and BRIAN DePALMA can make up for this year at the movies an i think they will cause they are both
    "going back to basics" with their upcoming films


  3. I am hopeful for the de Palma flick but not for Scorsese's DEPARTED. It's just a remake of Infernal Affairs, and as much as I admire Scorsese I cannot imagine he can top the original.

  4. then u may have slept throught that lame attempt at suspense in the elevator at the end of INFERNAL AFFAIRS.
    if ever a movie need MARTIN and THEMA ( his editor)
    that was the movie.

    BINA, oh my GOSH, u need to rest your poor weary eyes ( LOL )

    thanks for going to the movies,